What Was Lost
by Cho Koume
Summary: Time cannot heal all wounds and Hakkai has been bearing his pain alone. However, when he gets the chance to get back what was taken from him, will he take it, even if it means sacrificing someone else? Saiyuki   OC Koume
1. Chapter 1

'_Every night… every night for the last three weeks has been the same… I just don't know how to stop them. I try to stay awake, but each time, I fail miserably. It's gotten to the point that I wander the conscious world like a zombie, barely aware of what happens around me, and when I start to lose the battle for consciousness, when I close my eyes, I'm pulled back into the this world inside my head. Every single night I dream of her, and lose her all over again. My Kanan… At first the dream is heavenly and I'm with my beloved again. She's smiling, laughing… I can hold her close and almost feel her warmth as well as the small growths of new life in her stomach… but it's at that point that the dream takes a bad turn, and the dream I clung to becomes one that I try desperately to escape. I claw unconsciously at y sheets, as if literally trying to crawl out of the darkness inside my own mind, but it's no use- I'm trapped. The dream has e and never lets go until I am forced to see it all over again…and it always ends the same messy way. Tonight was no exception.'_

Hakkai awoke with such a sudden start that is early threw his small companion off the bed. Hakuryuu flew up into the air for a moment, wary of his owner's unexpected moment and hovered there for a few seconds before landing down, staring in confusion at the sorry state Hakkai was in. his poor owner was sweating profusely, eyes wide in shock and horror, and his chest was heaving painfully. It was the dream again, Hakuryuu knew, and he kyuu'd softly in an attempt to sooth his master. There was little more he could do. The strain was starting to show on Hakkai's face, but it was getting worse and Hakkai could feel his chest ache with each painful breath he took in. He weakly grabbed his nightshirt, wanting so badly to ease his own pain and do away with his dreams. It was all too much…

"Kyuu?"

"…I can't…. I can't take this anymore…. It has to stop, or I'll…." Hakkai's body shook uncontrollably. It was as if his body and mind were completely out of his control, and he hated that. Hot streams cascaded down his face for several minutes before Hakkai realized he was even crying, and he covered his face to try and stop them. Like his shakes, like his dreams, he was powerless to stop them.

"Why… why is this happening to me…? Why do I have to see it every night….?" But Hakkai was only speaking out to a darkness that could not answer back. He couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, and could barely remain coherent throughout the day… He needed to do something. He needed to tell someone… but who? Goku certainly wouldn't understand his problem or be able to come up with an answer. Gojyo was sincere- enough. But any advice he gave wouldn't help much, Hakkai was sure. Koume….. no, this was something he absolutely didn't want her to know about. He had kept her conception a secret for a reason- he didn't want to hurt her. That left only one person… but how would he react? Would he be able to help him? Well, he'd settle for even a single dreamless night. Looking out the window, Hakkai noticed how ominously the clouds were coming together. Just what he didn't need…. Rain. There would be no talking to Sanzo that day. It seemed as though even fate was working against Hakkai for he would have to bear his pain alone once more. His heaves and tears started to slow the longer he stared outside… he was starting to calm down, but it wasn't enough. He needed…..

Pushing his covers off sloppily, Hakkai stood on shaky legs and left his solitary room. He wandered down the hall, around a corner and stopped, staring silently at one particular door. He needed…. Slowly and soundlessly, he pushed the door open and wandered through the darkness until he made it to the bed. Looking down, he beheld her…. The one who wore the face of another- the face of the one he needed the most... Kanan… Koume was sleeping on her side, breathing soft and slow- a peaceful expression gracing her face. Hakkai couldn't help but feel jealous and bitter at how well others could sleep while he was tormented each and every night. But he knew it wasn't right to blame others… Sitting on the edge, Koume shifted only a little as the bed sunk, moving onto her back. Her oversized shirt slipped off her left shoulder slightly and showed Hakkai something he did not want to see: the top of the long scar which ran down over her heart. A wound that would never heal- a wound they shared in a symbolic sense. That day, both Hakkai and Koume were wounded by Kanan… but Hakkai could never blame his beloved for what she did. She had her reasons… even if Hakkai's broken heart couldn't fathom it. It hurt, yes… every day, it hurt him. But… he could never stop loving her… never stop missing her…

"Kanan…" Hakkai almost couldn't stand just how much Koume resembled her, but it wasn't something he could change… When she first arrived, it was almost unbearable. Her hair was long, pulled back in a loose braid… he asked her to cut it, but never told her why. She was always so eager to please and she cut it just like he asked. Anything he asked of her she always did; everything he needed, she did her every best to provide….. but she couldn't give him everything- she couldn't give him the one thing he wanted…. more time with Kanan. He would never hold her again or kiss her or hold her hand… and every day, Koume served as a painful reminder of that. He hated it…. But he was powerless to do anything about it.

As he sat there lighty stroking Koume's hair, he began to realize just how far his thoughts had begun to wander into the darkness so he shook his head to banish them for the time being. The rain really did bring out the worst in him. Already, he could tell that this was not going to be a good day. He wouldn't be able to force his smile for long and Sanzo would be even more of a pill, warranting his interjections in order to keep the peace… and to keep Sanzo from killing their companions. With a sigh, Hakkai decided to go back to his own room and attempt to get a few more hours sleep before chaos ensued. He would need to be well rested in order to keep up with the day's goings on. As he stood up, however, a had shot out through the darkness and took hold of his wrist, startling him for a minute and causing him to stiffen and jump slightly. If he hadn't hesitated, he may have let out a ki ball, but he was thankful for that when he realized whose hand had caught him: Koume. She looked up at him confusedly, seeing perfectly well through the darkness with those bright red eyes- eyes almost frighteninglydemonic.

"Hakkai?" At first, Hakkai's mouth couldn't form words, so his lips moved silently causing Koume's head to tilt more. She hardly seemed tired… almost as if she'd been awake the entire time. With Koume, it was hard to tell.. what she'd done, what she was thinking… But then, Hakkai supposed that everyone, no matter who they were, had the right to their own secrets. Confused and concerned about Hakkai's lack of audible response, Koume released his wrist and sat upright, hair curling slightly at the bottom in the absence of her ribbon.

"Are you okay?" Finally, Hakkai found the will to speak and forced his best smile.

"Y-yeah… I just…" Just what? What lie would sound convincing enough to warrant his intrusion into her room? He thought she was under attack? No, her own senses would have kicked in if that had been the case. He was sleepwalking? No, he wouldn't go there. And it wasn't time to eat, either. After a while of waiting, Koume made a guess of her own.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Such a simple thing.. but it wasn't a lie. Hakkai almost felt embarrassed about admitting it, but Koume wasn't the type to laugh at someone without good reason. Instead, she frowned at him for a moment to show her sympathy before a smile graced her soft lips. She then moved to the far end of the bed and patted the mattress.

"You can sleep here, then."

"B-but…"

"It's okay," she said with an even sweeter smile. "It's harder to have nightmares when you're surrounded by good thoughts." Hakkai wasn't so sure about that, but he still found himself climbing into the bed next to her, and almost as soon as his head hitthe pillow, he felt calmer. He couldn't explain it, but something about Koume's aura was soothing, relaxing… he could already feel consciousness leaving him, and when Koume's hand began softly combing through his hair, he was defeated. Within minutes, Hakkai was already asleep, and thankfully, it was dreamless. A sleep so deep that even nightmares and bad memories couldn't reach him.


	2. Chapter 2

Morning light had barely begun to kiss the horizon when soft quiet feet padded their way down the winding halls of the inn towards a certain door. This intruder was soundless, illusive, and slipped into the room without making a sound. However, the room's occupant was more than prepared for such an invasion- in fact… he was waiting for it. He rolled onto his back and stretched his arms out in anticipation only moments before a petit figure crawled her way up his body. Sanzo cracked a faint smile as he brought his arms back in to hold Koume's warm body against his own.

"You'll have to be sneakier tan that to surprise me." He said with a gruff smugness that suited Sanzo well. Koume released a soft laugh as a reply.

"I'll just have to try harder tomorrow, then."

"I guess you will."

This had grown to be a daily routine for the couple. Koume would sneak into his room early every morning to lay with him, to snuggle… or something else. Sure enough, Sanzo was in the mood for the latter and his hand slowly slid up and down Koume's back. It was his subtle way of asking permission, which in Koume's eyes, he didn't need to do. She loved him… and she would give him anything he asked for. Closing her eyes, she brought her lips down onto Sanzo's; softly at first; tasting him. No one could ever have the same taste of Sanzo- he was unique and delicious, like a rare boutique dessert, and Koume was starting. Her lips softly ghosted over Sanzo's, sending shivers down his spine. His time with Koume was a pleasurable torment- with every feathery touch and warm caress, but he wanted more- more contact, more control. Koume wasn't quite done with him, though, and she asserted her own dominance gradually, pushing up his tight black shirt as far as it would go so that she could gain access to his tender flesh. Her mouth lowered and began tasting him, finding all his sensitive spots scattered over his chest. Each kiss and glide of her fangs pulled deep groans from Sanzo's throat. It was obvious that he was trying to hide them, but there was no way he could. Not with Koume working him over. She was a passionate predator playing a dangerous game and Sanzo was her willing prey. However, the teasing was getting too much for Sanzo to handle, so he roughly grabbed her and in a swift movement, he flipped them, efficiently pinning Koume beneath him. With one large hand, he held both of Koume's slim wrists above her head. She looked up at him in moderate surprise, exciting Sanzo, but perhaps that was part of her plan to seduce him. Koume knew how domineering Sanzo could be, and now that she had him fired up, he wouldn't feel the need to hold back. She didn't mind if he was rough with her- she only cared that she was his.

The look of fiery passion burning in Sanzo's eyes spelled danger for his willing victim, and Koume's skin tingled in anticipation of his next move. Sanzo did not disappoint. He lowered his lips firmly against Koume's, kissing so forcefully that it could have bruised. It was as if he wanted to consume her, and she would let him in an instant. No matter how fast or harsh he was with his kisses, Koume kept up with him, returning his actions with fervor. As he consumed her mouth, she lightly struggled against his strong hand; not in an attempt to escape, but to drive him on more, and to excite his domineering nature. Her lover grinned in a devilish way, enjoying the game, and he brought it to the next level- snaking his free hand slowly up into her shirt and causing her to gasp as her face turned bright as a cherry.

Sanzo was always amazed by the softness of Koume's skin- so smooth and fare, almost as though she were a finely crafted porcelain doll. The only roughness he could find was around her scars, but he adored them, too, even though he regretted the history behind them- the long slash marks on her back, as well as the scar over her heart. He made sure to give them special, tender attention, and each movement of his hand brought new and delicious sounds from the lover pinned under him. Though rough from a long life of fighting, Koume still loved those hands and everything Sanzo had to give her. No Matter what, he was hers and she was most affectionately his.

Passion rose as Sanzo's lips left hers to find another target. When he found her sensitive neck, her breath hitched, eliciting a pleasing sound for Sanzo. Seeing as he'd found his prey's weakness, he made a full assault, showing no mercy. Unnoticed, the forgotten Matten scripture on the bedside table began to move of its own accord. Seemingly reacting to the intense energy forming between its master and his lover, the scripture was drawn towards them, and ever so slightly began to wind around them. However, the two were far too distracted to notice such a thing. Everything was so intense, so hot, so dizzying and wonderful- and also quite loud. So loud, in fact, that it managed to wake the occupants residing on either side of the room. Goku quickly jumped out of bed and stumbled out into the hall prepared to fight- clothes hastily and sloppily thrown together- whereas Gojyo was very calm and reserved as he poked his head out into the hall.

"Whoa… is that what I think it is?"

"What, what is it?" Goku asked, obviously concerned with the commotion. He was overreacting as usual, and this made Gojyo chuckle. The little monkey was so naive. "Is Sanzo under attack?" It was almost sad to laugh at the poor inexperienced monkey, but the redhead held his tongue as best he could.

"In a manner of speaking." He responded jokingly. "I think he can handle himself, though." However, the ever increasing thumps on the wall were none too comforting to Goku and he didn't hesitate to dive for the doorknob.

"I'm going to help!" He moved so fast that Gojyo almost didn't have time to react, but he knew very well what could happen if that door happened and they were to disturb Sanzo at this point in time. So, as fast as he could, he rushed forward as well. "No Goku, wait-" But it was just a moment too late. The door opened and in an instant, the end of the ever-feared Smith and Wesson was aimed threateningly in their direction and his previous focus was put on hold. Lucky- maybe?- Gojyo's hand shot instantly up to cover Goku's young, ignorant eyes as his own eyes also closed.

"Sorry sorry!" he quickly apologized, already starting to back out. "The monkey was dumb and didn't realize! He thought you were in trouble or something!" nervously he laughed, but he could already feel Sanzo's trigger finger twitch.

"I'm fine now get the hell out!" Warning shots blasted past their heads which prompted an immediate response and retreat from the room. Sanzo glared as the door was slammed shut and kept his hard eyes on the door for several seconds longer, gun still at the ready and amongst a mess of scripture and Koume. His partner was lying back on the rumpled sheets, hair undone and her shirt nearly all the way off as she caught her breath. With the small bit of contact with him, she could feel tension rising in his muscles and his eyes were strained and angry… that simply would not do. With a sigh, she lifted a hand and softly turned his face back towards her.

"Don't think about them, love… no harm done. Just think about me… about us, Genjyo." She smiled sweetly, only a smile she could make, and right away, calm passed from her to Sanzo, finally bringing him to relinquish his gun. Instead, he laid down, wrapped his arms around her and buried his face securely in her chest. Her heart fluttered softly, though she was somewhat embarrassed, she still adored the cuddling. He stayed quiet for some time before Koume could feel his words reverberating over her chest.

"Sometimes, I wish it was just us."

"Mm," she thought whilst playing with her lover's hair. "I think you'd miss them, even a little." Sanzo grunted in disbelief. "Genjyo… you may not think you like them now, but I'm sure you can understand…. that you don't realize just how much you care about someone until they're gone…" Sanzo didn't seem to be listening. "But perhaps…. Soon, we can take a little trip together. Just you and me…" Sanzo's response to that was almost inaudible as it was useless to fight unconsciousness when pitted against Koume's warmth and softness. So, she let him be, continuing to play with his hair, watching over him with adoring eyes.

As for Goku and Gojyo, they returned to their rooms, traumatized and weary, hoping to catch a few more Z's before the day began. However, sleep didn't come easy for Gojyo after what he'd just seen. He lie awake in his bed, staring blindly at the ceiling, telling himself that he didn't see what he just saw. But he did. He saw it for sure. For him, who was a self-proclaimed ladies man, it used to be difficult to be travelling with a female. Although, he knew that if he ever had an impure thought about her, the three other men of the group would most surely kill him in a manner more painful and gruesome than he wanted to imagine. So, he learned to see Koume as a younger sister- and thank god, he wasn't one of "those" types. (You know what I'm talking about… I think?) So, Koume was someone he sought to teach and look after, which somehow came naturally after a while. However, in that one moment, that brief three seconds before he closed his eyes, he couldn't see her as anything but what she was…. A young, healthy, beautiful young woman. How could he forget that sultry expression; those softly parted lips; her hazy red-brown eyes? He certainly couldn't have ignored seeing entirely more bare skin than he should have! It was just a glimpse, but it was enough to light something impure inside him. Clearly, he had seen something that he most definitely shouldn't have. He saw Sanzo's hand at her bare chest, her naked stomach, but thankfully the lower half was covered by the rumpled blankets. Just what base had he caught them at? How far could they have gone together?

No, no, NO! That was not right and Gojyo knew it! Getting up, Gojyo left to take a cold shower to clear his head of such things. God, if only Hakkai knew…


	3. Chapter 3

From there, the day continued much like it had for the past few days: Sanzo reached the breakfast table first, followed by a hungry Goku; Koume would wander in some time later looking innocent, and Gojyo would sneak in and avoid eye contact with everyone. Lastly… Hakkai sauntered in and stare at a full plate of food. Koume tried her best to get Hakkai to eat and smile like he used to and he could force a few to please her, but his growing distance didn't go unnoticed. Still, Koume acted like she was none the wiser and worked to keep moral in the group high. After eating- or more, after most of them ate, they left and returned on their slow, tedious journey westward. The growing silence in the group could only go on for so long until Goku got bored, and he leaned forward in his seat.

"Ne, Sanzo, what were you doing to Koume this morning?" Bad time to bring it up as Gojyo choked on his beer, Koume squeaked and hid her face behind her hands, Sanzo grumbled and looked away, but more importantly, Hakkai nearly drove them off the road. Hakkai whipped his head around to stare back at Koume, who was still hiding, and his voice almost cracked.

"WHAT was going on this morning?" He looked at everyone. Goku seemed clueless, Sanzo wasn't going to tell, and Gojyo wore a look of shame. Deciding on the best course of action, his gaze, a dangerous one at that, fell back onto Sanzo.

"What were you doing this morning?"

"….Stupid monkey…"

"Ne, Hakkai…" Gojyo started for Sanzo. "It was probably nothing! You know how dumb the monkey is! He saw even less than I did! ….I mean…" Gojyo wasn't as good a liar as he thought. It was shocking… but Hakkai turned back in his seat, already having exhausted himself, but nevertheless, his parental side was surfacing.

"Koume…. You're far too young to be even thinking about such things. Don't take things too quickly. When you rush through things…. You make mistakes you can't take back." Hakkai started driving again, lecturing Sanzo on the way about taking advantage of a child. Hakkai's words… they stuck and cut into Koume like a knife. She sat silently in the back mottling over those words. "Too young" he said… he was right. It wasn't an easy truth to accept, but she wasn't old as she looked or acted. While her body was that of a young woman of 18, spry, lovely, mature, she had only been alive for about half of that time. She was different from the others, given the unusual circumstances of her birth- Koume, though she never openly admitted it, could not see herself as a normal person. She tried to hide these negative feelings… negativity was already far too abundant in their group, but sometimes, she just could stop it. So she did the only thing she could and scooted forward to bury her head against Sanzo's back- hiding her feeling and those sorrowful eyes.

"Koume?"

Sanzo's body was warm… being with him was the only comfort she could seek when the darkness inside her surfaced, and when he held her in his arms, she felt safe, like being in the womb. Why did he affect her so? Was it because of their previous connection? Was it because they were lovers? Or maybe…. It was because of his holy scripture. Its companion had given her life; was this the only other which could sustain her? She really owed her very existence to those scriptures… without them, she was nothing more than a soulless doll. Lost in her own thoughts, she almost didn't hear Sanzo calling for her. He was about to turn and shake her, concern almost showing on his face until Koume shook her head against him.

"I'm alright. It's just…. Going to rain…"

Why was it that rain brought about sadness? Why did it call out to the sorrow in each living heart and drown out all sense of happiness? Koume couldn't understand why rain was seen as such a bad omen or why it brought her companions down to a dark place. With all the desert travel they faced, rain should be seen as a godsend, but instead it prompted Hakkai to press his foot down harder on the gas pedal to get them to the nearest town as soon as possible. A trickle was coming down by the time they reached a run -down town with a pitifully small inn. Sanzo sped inside so quickly that he hardly got a drop on him with Hakkai and Gojyo not far behind. Goku, on the other hand, pulled an epic fail and ended up slipping and fell into a puddle halway to the door. This sent Gojyo into a girlish giggle fit and only annoyed the poor wet monkey. He raced off after Gojyo with a mud pie meal and a very strong urge to wring the redhead's neck and Hakkai followed, attempting to quell the quarreling before the inevitable reverberation of a fan attack reached them. …..he did not succeed. It didn't take long for everyone to settle in and disappear into their own rooms… but someone was missing. Koume was in no hurry to go in, and she stood watching as everyone, comfortable with their own unique relationships, went about their routines. Somehow, this left her with a strange feeling… as the rain continued to pour down, she sat down on the rim of a broken fountain just out front and let her mind wander on in silence.

What was this pang in her heart? What was this strange emotion welling up inside her? She was part of the group, part of this strange family, and yet… seeing them interacting in such a way… it made her feel lonely. Was it because they had a relationship deeper than she was a part of? Was it because no one turned and noticed she was even there? Or was it because they had something precious that she did not…. A life all their own. A soul. Everyone was different in their own ways, but at least they could call themselves real people. Koume could not. She was always trying to be a voice of reason, to be a becon of hope and happiness, but at times like this, when her own heart wandered back into dark places, she just couldn't find the will to smile. She couldn't blame the rain like others did, because she saw the rain as something different. Raising her head, she let the droplets fall onto her face. To her… the rain was a comfort…. And a way of masking her tears. The Earth cried so that she wouldn't have to. Koume wished for a cleansing- she wished for the rain to wash away every bad thought, every bad memory…

Inside, Hakkai was thinking something similar as he wandered about. The rain washed away many things, but not all. In a sense, he blamed the rain for bringing bad omens and every time it rained, he was reminded of what he lost… as he wandered some more, his eyes happened to glance out the front window and there he saw someone. He wasn't sure what he was seeing at first, but when he stepped closer and looked through the dense rainfall, he saw none other than Koume, still sitting there with her head lifted. Mentally he kicked himself for not even paying her any mind. His mind was on other things, but that was no excuse…! Hurriedly he ran out, not minding the rain and called out to her, concerned as a parent should be. When she looked his way, however, something struck Hakkai stiff. The way the rain resembled heavy tears, that soft, sad expression… but Koume was Koume and when she saw him, she gave him the most sincere smile. Something pierced into Hakkai's heart, then, bringing back deep, painful memories which he had been trying to fight back for the past hour. She looked so much like her… the way her hair fell about her face when wet, those kind eyes-always forgiving, always loving… Hakkai's cracked voice almost uttered dangerous words.

"K…Kana-"

"Oi!" Hakkainearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden call and turned back to see an overly observant Gojyo standing in the open doorway.

"G-Gojyo…"

"What're you trying to do, catch colds or something? Both of you need to get yer butts inside! If I have to go out there to get you, you'll be sorry!" Hakkai was too overwhelmed with the situation to react immediately, but before he knew it, Koume was latched onto his arm, gently pulling him towards the inn. That ever-happy smile was back as she called out a cheerful "haiiii~" to Gojyo. Hakkai couldn't speak, he could barely move on his own.

"Come on, daddy!" Koume said to him, "Uncle Gojyo is worried!"

"Oi oi! Don't call me uncle! It makes me sound old!"

"Well you're older than meeee~!"

"Oh I see how it is!"

"Eeeeek! Uncle Gojyo is gunna get us!" It was fun and games as usual… everything was normal… normal… no, it wasn't normal at all… Hakkai knew that much… still, the normalcy of it managed to pull Hakkai back from his dark place and urged his fatherly instincts to kick in. Not long after, both were showered and everyone was seated in the largest room- Sanzo's room, of course- to chill. Gojyo and Goku were playing cards on the floor, Sanzo was sitting on the bed reading a 3 day old newspaper and Koume was seated in a chair while Hakkai worked to dry off her hair. She kept it tied with her ribbon so often that it took on a natural curl at the bottom. It suited her… Koume of course had insisted that she could dry her own hair, but something in Hakkai wouldn't allow this and he felt compelled to do it himself… as well as dish out a lecture.

"Koume, just what were you thinking, staying out in that downpour? You could get yourself very sick that way…"

"I was doing alright, though… it was a warm day, so I was able to cool down a little." She defended softly- though not in a defiant way.

"Even if you think you're okay, you might not be! Do you realize how sad it would make me if you fell ill?"

"….Otousan…." Slowly, Koume lifted her head to look at Hakkai, an expression of guilt written all over her. "….Gomen ne…" Again, this cut deep into Hakkai's heart. Just how much more of this could he take? Too much… it was just too much….

Gojyo just couldn't help but notice the devastated expression, the trembling lips, the shaking hands… Hakkai was completely losing it. Blowing off the game of cards he was cheating at, he jumped into action and slung an arm around his friend, in an attempt at hiding the man's reactions from the others and also to steady his obviously unstable friend. He started pulling Hakkai towards the door.

"Hakkai, I need your help with something, now that I think about it!"

"H…huh…?" Hakkai could barely respond. And just like that, they were gone. Sanzo didn't miss a beat, either. He, too, had been observing Hakkai's changes recently, and he knew he had to try and keep them from affecting Koume the wrong way. In a soft but firm voice, he spoke up for the first time since reaching the inn.

"Goku, get out."

"Huh? Why do I gotta leave?"

"Because I said so." Sanzo flashed a dangerous look of dominance and Goku knew better than to stick around. He abandoned the cards on the floor and quietly made his way out, silently wondering what he'd done to upset Sanzo this time. This left Koume alone with the man, still sitting on the chair with the towel hanging off her head. Now alone with her, Sanzo intended to keep it that way, swiftly moving to lock the door, but Koume didn't react. He dimmed the light somewhat and approached her slowly but still she did not move. He pulled the towel off her head, hair still dripping slightly, but nothing still. That's when he bent slightly to wrap his arms around her thin shoulders and placed a tender but hungry kiss on her neck just above her collar-like limiter. Even that couldn't bring out a response and this was disconcerting. Sanzo shifted to look at her face… her eyes were distant, soft…. Sad.

"Koume?" She was so out of it. Had she noticed? Not wanting to be ignored, Sanzo decided to take more drastic measures, leaning in again to bite her neck this time, not hard enough to puncture, but causing enough pain to shock her out of her daze. A soft gasp passed through her lips and she glanced back at him, her face already turning pink.

"G-Genjyo…"

"Something is wrong in your head. I want to know what it is." She hesitated. Koume was always cautious and attentive to everyone's emotions. She helped everyone open up but wouldn't let the darkness lingering inside her heart to get free. She wouldn't say anything if it hurt anyone she loved. The last thing she wanted was to bring the scorn of her loved ones down upon her, so she held her tongue, but after a few more painful hickeys, Sanzo managed to make her speak

"S-something changed…" she said softly.

"Changed? What's changed?" Sanzo's voice became softer, his kisses less intense.

"Hakkai… he's not himself… he's not well and he avoids me… and lately, it seems like everyone…. Everyone seems different… it's like I'm not here…" That was a cause for concern. Sanzo rounded the chair and set his hands down softly on her shoulder. Her face lifted and Sanzo beheld the saddest, most lonely expression he'd seen her wear. She was on the brink of tear, trying to search inside herself to find answers.

"Genjyo… what did I do wrong…?"

That was as much as Sanzo could take. Her expression was simply too painful for him to bear. Without any warning, he pulled her out of the chair, carried her to the bed and dropped her rather unceremoniously onto her stomach. His forcefulness was sudden and alarming. For a moment, Koume battled with herself as to what to do. Did she try to run, for fear of him and his temper or stay and take anything he had to dish out- just so long as she was acknowledged? Before she could decide, she felt his weight on top of her, arms wrapped tightly around her. There would be no escape. She was frightened for a moment, eyes closing tightly as he leaned down to whisper into her ear.

"Absolutely nothing…" he said, voice low and gruff. "You did nothing wrong." The way Sanzo's voice reverberated through her, sending chills down her spine was intense and from there, she was putty in his hands. She willingly submitted to his every whim, adoring being loved by him as the rain fell outside.


	4. Chapter 4

The rain continued to pour down outside, but with Koume in his arms, Sanzo could ignore it. He held her for a long time after their intimacy cooled down until sleep claimed him. Koume, however, was not fortunate enough to find the comfort of sleep. She stayed awake for a long time, simply staring at Sanzo's sleeping face. He looked so much calmer and sweeter when he was asleep- and not firing his gun off in the general direction of certain idiots- but this sweetness almost didn't suit him. He was brash, aggressive, cold… that's how she knew him. Though she felt comforted in his protective embrace, she somehow didn't feel natural in the position. Why did things seem so wrong, so alien to her? The thoughts from the previous night were beginning to filter back into the forefront of her mind, but before they could impact her like before, her stomach made itself known, and when your stomach does back flips, it wasn't easy to ignore. The pain was so intense it took her breath away; her vision blurred and she almost couldn't move. She took a few deep breaths, waiting for the pain to numb out, but she could already feel the bile rising inside her. She had to move quickly- but nimbly and quietly as not to alarm her sleeping companion. Once out of his embrace, she dressed quickly in an oversized beige shirt and black shorts, disappearing out of the room. It was still early in the morning, so she assumed the others would be asleep. She was trying to be quiet, but her stomach wasn't giving her much leeway and she soon found herself sprinting towards the bathroom. She only just barely avoided colliding with Gojyo, who was just leaving the bathroom. With only moments to spare, she quickly shouted an apology and disappeared into the tiled room.

Gojyo was always far too observant. The past weeks, he'd seen more than he had wanted to, and even now, he could just barely hear what Koume was doing- emptying the contents of her stomach- but he couldn't understand why. He closed his eyes, leaning against the wall by the door and thought; it was only for a moment, but he noted her pale skin, her red eyes, and her nauseated complexion. Was she ill? Maybe that time in the rain had gotten to her after all, he thought to himself. After a while, the sink turned off and Koume slowly sauntered out of the bathroom, breath smelling of mint from the mouthwash and faint circles forming under her eyes. She didn't seem to notice Gojyo until he stepped in front of her, setting hishands on her small shoulders.

"Hey… you okay?" Slowly, Koume lifted her head and Gojyo had a brief glimpse of her unguarded expression before she slipped her mask of contentment back on.

"Gojyo…" Her voice was faint and that, plus what she'd just been doing, worried the redhead. He moved one hand up to check her temperature.

"You don't feel feverish to me… What happened just now?"

"…Nothing." She lied softly. But that wasn't going to cut it.

"You don't have to hide, Koume. I know what you just did… I just want to make sure you're alright."

"I'm fine…" Her voice was sounding less and less convincing. "Probably a bug or something…" Koume made a weak attempt to escape Gojyo's over-observant gaze, but he locked her in place, gently pinning her against the wall. She couldn't hide how she felt… her secrets were wide open to him but still she resisted, turning her head away from him. That's when he saw it… all the bruises along her neck and collar. Now, he of all people knew exactly what they were and a thought suddenly struck him.

"No way… Koume… could you be….?"

_Pregnant?_

Unsure of what else to do, and not wanting to cause a scene out in the open, Gojyo pulled Koume into his room where he spent several minutes pacing the floor while muttering to himself. Koume sat on his bed and watched him.

"Okay, I gotta relax and think clearly about this… I could just be overreacting…! But no, everything fits… and those marks! Oh god, how could this happen? Hakkai is going to kill somebody…! I need to tell him! ….No way, then he'll just kill ME flirt! But if I don't tell him and he finds out I knew, then he'll STILL kill me!"

"What are you talking about….? It's just a stomach flu…"

"I don't think so, Koume…! I think you're…. I think…." He almost couldn't say it. Koume tilted her head, not understanding. He couldn't blame her… she was still only a child, after all! Taking a breath, Gojyo went back to Koume.

"Koume… I think you're…. pregnant."

"Pregnant?"

"Ah, it means… you're going to have a baby…!" Her eyes widened somewhat.

"What….? That's not right…"

"It's… it's not something I think you're ready for, but don't worry, it's okay! You didn't do anything wrong, okay?"

"But I…. I can't be pregnant…" Gojyo's hands went to her shoulders again.

"Don't worry… we'll tell the others and figure out what to do about this!"

What to do? Something needed to be done? Suddenly, fear grew inside her and her eyes widened more. Something… something else was about to change? Already, Hakkai had been moving farther from her and so what would happen if they found out she was with child? The worst images came flooding into her mind: they would hate her; they would hate her baby; but the worst thought of all… was that they may leave her behind. She would be alone… loneliness was one thing that she hated most and to be abandoned by those she had finally opened up to… She couldn't allow it. Gojyo moved towads the door, intent on telling the others about the predicament and Koume jumped up quickly, wrapping her arms about him.

"Don't! Please!" He stopped, astonished by her sudden outburst.

"Don't…? But… Koume, we have to tell them…" But she shook her head roughly.

"They don't need to know! I don't want them to know yet!"

"Koume…" What had gotten into her all of a sudden? She was behaving out of the norm- then again, hormones were probably already starting to run wild through her system due to the pregnancy.

"Please, Gojyo…! Please don't tell!" It was when she looked up, tears brimming in her eyes, that Gojyo was soundly beaten. There was no way he could say no to those pleading eyes… with a sigh, Gojyo took his hand off the doorknob and patted her head softly.

"Alright, kiddo… I'll give you some time to process this… we'll keep this a secret."

"G-Gojyo…" She sobbed softly. Gojyo knelt in front of her and helped to wipe away her falling tears. He then cupped her cheek and stared deep into her eyes.

"But listen… I'll help you through this… if you need anything at all, come right to me, okay? No matter when or what it is…. Got it?" She nodded stiffly. For now…. She had a stay of execution- time to think over her options... though all she wanted was to pretend nothing had happened at all. With everything else going on, she didn't need this, too…

Having narrowly avoided an unpleasant situation, Koume left Gojyo's room- she didn't feel like returning to Sanzo's side, so instead she bypassed his room and settled for sitting alone in the small lounge downstairs. She sat quietly at a small table in the corner of the room with a cooling cup of tea more or less untouched in front of her. Not long after, someone else padded quietly down the stairs, seeing solitude, but instead golden red eyes met weary green as father and daughter came face to face. When two pairs of lonely eyes met, Hakkai nearly broke down instantly, almost wanting to turn and go back to his room but that would have been too cold of him… He recalled the conversation he had with Gojyo the night before…

Gojyo had pulled him out of Sanzo's room and into Hakkai's faster than Hakkai could have objected. Forced to sit on the bed, Hakkai almost cowered under Gojyo's firm gaze.

"You almost said something dangerous, Hakkai…"

"D-did I…?" Hakkai tried to play coy, but he already knew he'd been cornered.

"Outside, you almost… called her Kanan, didn't you?" Hakkai tensed and lowered his head, hands clenching the sheets.

"N-no…"

"Liar. I know…! You think about her all the time… you see her in Koume, don't you?"

"I…"

"You gotta stop, Hakkai… your mind is in a dark place right now… you gotta let her go, Hakkai and focus on who you are now, where you are, and who you're with!"

"I… just…" Hakkai couldn't seem to get a word in edge-wise. "I miss her… Gojyo…"

"I know you do." Gojyo sighed. "You've been dealt an unfair hand, friend…. But there's nothing that can be done about that. The past is behind you, and you need to get back to the present." Gojyo lit a smoke.

"How can I simply forget…? I see my Kanan in Koume all day, every day… it's like the gods are teasing me…"

"It's not a tease." Hakkai looked up. "…Koume is a blessing, Hakkai. You lost a lover, but you got something back in turn. Don't take that for granted."

"…." Hakkai's head dropped. "That's… rather selfish of me, isn't it…?"

"Damn straight." Gojyo released a large puff of smoke and waited a moment before resuming his lecture, though his tone was softer than before- more empathetic.

"…Look, Hakkai. She's not here to make your life harder… she just wants a father. She wants a family to love and accept her… she's never asked for anything more than that. She's too sincere to even bring up what she's hiding inside, her own pain. You have to be strong for her like we're all strong for you."

"I don't know how to be strong anymore…"

"Well you'd better figure it out soon and deal with it, Hakkai." Gojyo opened the door to leave, but turned his head back slightly. "…Or you may end up losing yet another person who you can't get back." And he left. Gojyo's words were still ringing in his ears, still stirring in his brain and as he looked into Koume's eyes, he could not in good conscience leave her alone. So, he gathered all his strength and descended the stairs, taking a seat across from her. He couldn't keep forcing her away just because she had an uncanny resemblance to someone he loved… it was genetic. It wasn't her fault. As soon as he sat down, Koume got up, however; Hakkai was afraid that she was avoiding him in return- though he deserved that and more- but no, she soon returned with a fresh pot of tea, pouring him some.

"Maybe we should stay here a few days," she said softly, sitting back down.

"Why's that…?" Hakkai almost jumped when she spoke, but he hoped she hadn't noticed. Just stay calm, he told himself. It was difficult, though, what with Koume's piercing eyes gazing right into his soul.

"I'm worried about you… you still don't look well." So kind, so sincere… she was obviously putting aside her own feelings, hiding them behind her mask to only focus on him and his problems. She was hurting, but all she would openly care about him… Hakkai gave her a faint smile- it was all he could manage.

"You're so kind…. But I'll be alright. A little more rest and I'll be good as new, I'm sure." She didn't look convinced and her gaze was getting too intense for him t handle, so he closed his eyes, lifted his tea cup and took a long sip. He savored he sweet flavor and felt his body relax as the soft liquid warm his insides.

"Mm… it's good." He said with a smile. That, in turn, brought a smile to Koume's face as well.

"I'm glad…" She said that, but when Hakkai looked up, he saw her staring down at her cold cup of tea, trying to hide her feelings. Her eyes looked distant…

"Koume? What's wrong?" 'You're the problem and you know it' his mind scolded him. She shook her head. She wouldn't tell… Was Hakkai that hard to talk to? Had he pushed her far enough away that she couldn't talk to him honestly? She wouldn't open up, but she did take the trouble of pouring him another fresh cup of tea. Somehow, this filled Hakkai with a deep feeling of shame and his head hung low once again.

"Koume… why are you so good to me?" Hakkai asked in a somber tone. Koume almost looked surprised by the question.

"That's a silly question…" she replied sweetly, reaching across the table to hold his hand. "It's because… I love you and you're worth it. You're family!" Her sweetness was almost unbearable. And her hand… Turning his palm up, Hakkai let his thumb run over Koume's soft hand. So much… so much like Kanan… Even the feel of her skin was the same. It was all so similar, so familiar, so… wrong. Kanan was dead and all traces of her should have been destroyed long ago! So why… why was there someone walking around with her face?

"Hakkai?"

It was unforgivable…! How could there be two of her? Why would Kougaiji bring such a person into the world? To taunt him? To haunt him with the face of his dead love? What a cruel, demonic card to play!

"Unforgivable…"

"D-dad?"

"Hakkai!" Suddenly, Hakkai was broken out of his thoughts as a firm hand took hold of his wrist, squeezing relentlessly. The brunette winced and looked up to see hard eyes staring him down. All at once, Hakkai felt drained of all his strength and weak under Sanzo's gaze. What was happening? What had he been doing just then? Sanzo's lips were moving, but it took his brain a minute to process what he was saying.

"Let go."

Let go? Let go of what, he wondered. He then followed Sanzo's eyes up his arm until he saw… the crushing grip he had on Koume's wrist. His hand was clenched so tightly around it that his nails had begun digging into her soft flesh, drawing the faintest drops of blood. Quickly, he released her and she took a few steps away from the table. Goku apparently came out of nowhere ad began fussing over her. She tried to brush it off, but her voice was shaky and her body was trembling. What had he done…? His eyes were fixed on her until Sanzo pulled on his wrist, nearly slamming him into the nearest wall. Hakkai's head hit the drywall and made his head hurt for a moment, but he probably deserved it. Gojyo was magically there as well. After checking on Koume, he was walking towards him and Sanzo- who looked like he was itching to shoot him.

"Hakkai, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I-I don't…"

"Well you'd better figure out what your problem is and get over it fast! My patience is wearing thin!"

"S-Sanzo…" Hakkai was genuinely scared, but a voice called out behind him, full of concern.

"Please don't hurt him!" Koume was defending him, even after he'd gone and hurt her- in more ways than one. How could someone be so forgiving…? Such reckless kindness could only bring a person pain in the end… He'd hurt her… half intentionally… what kind of horrible person…. The world suddenly slipped away and Hakkai collapsed into Sanzo's arms. The last thing he heard was a call of his name, and the voice of one who was greatly missed.


	5. Chapter 5

Several hours passed and the weather finally began to break. With Hakkai still incapacitated, Gojyo recommended that Koume go out for some air. The tension inside had gotten so high and she didn't need to be exposed to it. He needed to talk to Sanzo anyway, so Goku took her by the hand and the two of them left for the market. Goku wasn't an easy one to shop with, but Koume wasn't entirely paying attention to his antics as much as the grocery list and her own inner musings. She wasn't the only one thinking deeply as Goku's eyes kept wandering to her bandaged wrist. He knew he had to keep Koume happy, though, and if he could manage to make her smile, he knew everything would be okay. So he led her by the hand, told her funny(ish) jokes and did most of the heavy lifting for her.

"What else do we need?" Koume asked softly, putting some fresh fruit into one of her bags. On her face was that soft, lovely smile, but was only part of a well-trained façade to hide her true pain. Goku looked down at the list, twisting the paper around.

"I wish I knew… god, Gojyo's handwriting is terrible! I can hardly read it!" Koume chuckled.

"Let me take a look…" Koume smiled and leaned over his shoulder to look at the list. Goku felt a flush come to his cheeks as he looked back at her. His eyes took in her face then slowly drifted, catching the scar on her collarbone out of the corner of his eye. A scar like that might fade over time, but it wouldn't ever disappear. It wasn't very dark, but against her tanning skin, it became even more obvious. Koume never wore anything that showed off that part of her, Goku noticed, and somehow, it seemed to be the most intimate part of her. He wasn't sure why…

"Ah." Koume said, startling Goku. The boy quickly turned his head away, hoping he hadn't been caught staring. "Turnips. That's what that word is."

"T-turnips…?"

"That's right…" Koume looked down the street. "I think there were some in the shop at the end… but it's in the opposite direction as the inn…" She sighed. It was apparent that she was feeling tired, so Goku jumped into action and led her to a bench.

"Don't worry about it! I'll quickly run down there and get some, kay?"

"Goku, you're sweet… thank you."

"Hehehe" he blushed. "Nah, I like helping! So you rest here and I'll be back in no time, okay?"

"Alright…" Koume handed him the card. "Hold onto that now… and for being such a good helper, feel free to buy yourself a little snack!"

"WOO-HOO!" Koume watched as he ran excitedly down the road and when he was out of sight, she sighed, alone with her thoughts once again. Her mind kept going back to that morning… just what had happened? What had she said to set Hakkai off like that? And what did he mean when he said "unforgivable"? Her head was so full of questions without answers that she could hardly stand it! She was practically screaming inside, begging for answers and a distraction from the darkness quickly growing. Any distraction! Well… one part of her, for one, was listening and all too soon she felt that familiar churning in her stomach. She ran away from the bench, ending up in a secluded alleyway, just barely making it there before doubling over in pain. With nothing left to upheave, it was far less messy than before, but it was uncomfortable nonetheless. She stayed there a while, willing the pain to leave her when she felt a hand on her back, lightly rubbing in a soothing way. So she'd been caught… With a sigh, she slowly stood back up and turned.

"Thanks, but I'm okay now, Gok-" She paused, for the eyes staring her down did not belong to Goku. "K…Kougaiji…? What are you…?" He took a step towards her and instinctually, she stepped back, running into the wall. Despite his tough appearance and his intense eyes, she could feel no malice coming from him.

"I miss you." He said softly, reaching out to her, but she turned her face away from him. He stepped closer and she put her hands up to his chest to prevent his advancement.

"Don't come closer!" He stopped, but his eyes went to her bandaged wrist- the intensity inside him grew. Kougaiji was dangerous, Koume knew, but he was also a difficult man to understand.

"Did that priest do this to you? Does he hurt you, Koume?" She didn't say. "Tell me!" His voice picked up and Koume shut her eyes, trying not to be afraid of him. She knew just how angry he could become.

"He didn't hurt me. He wouldn't."

"Then who did this? Who, Koume?" She flinched and he saw it, sighing. This was not the right way to go about things… In only a moment, he watched all of her strength melt away in front of him and it was enough proof that things were not going well. He had a chance to try, to ask her again…

"Come back with me." But like the other times, she shook her head. They've already been down this road many times- Kougaiji has failed every time to try and lead her down a different path. "If you come back with me, Koume, they can't hurt you. I'll protect you, Koume."

"…But you can't make me happy…"

"Koume…! Don't say that! You can't possibly say you're happy here…! Like this!"

"Happier than I was, anyway. Look… we've been through this…. If I go back, I'll be nothing more than some psycho's science experiment once more. I can't handle it… can you?"

"It wont be like that this time… Don't you believe me?"

"I don't know…"Koume dropped her head, eyes showing that deep sorrow inside. Kougaiji wasn't sure what to do…

"Koume, I've never seen you like this before…! Just what are they doing to you?"

"…Kougaiji, I…"

"Come on!" He said, taking her hand roughly. "I'm taking you back so they can't hurt you anymore!" But almost immediately, she tore out of his grasp.

"I wont go! I don't need any more reminders… that I'm not a real person….!"

Those words cut into Kougaiji like a knife, and though he wanted to deny it, to tell her she was wrong, to comfort her, he could not. When he found her, she was just barely alive inside her dead mother's cold stomach… He couldn't look at her and see a normal person, but that didn't mean she was anything less than anyone else. She breathed the same air, spoke the same words, and felt the same pain… pain that was becoming more and more evident on her face as she bit her lip, trying not to cry. He leaned in, wanting to kiss her, but he hesitated and instead placed an innocent kiss upon her cheek. As he turned to leave, he spoke again, keeping his voice as soft as he could manage.

"You may not be like other people, Koume, but you're still special and unique in this world. No matter what, remember that. I wont forgive them if they hurt you any more… Don't let anyone push you around. Be strong." And with that, he was gone. Koume didn't move for several moments, letting Kougaiji's words sink in. Slowly, she began to wander back into that dark place growing inside her, but she didn't get very far as Goku's voice ran out beyond the darkness. Slowly, Koume pushed herself off the wall and returned to the bench where Goku was standing, looking worried.

"Koume, there you are! Where did you go? I was calling out to you!" Goku was worried… that was no good. She had to make sure she wasn't a burden to them… The only reason she could stay with them, she thought, was if she made them happy. So she strode over to him and softly patted his head, putting on her most convincing smile. It wasn't completely hollow… Thankfully, Goku wasn't as perceptive as the others.

"I'm sorry, Goku! I saw a cute kitty and tried to follow it! I must have gotten a little lost!"

"A kitty…?" Goku's expression was thoughtful for a moment, then his face lit up like a light, the biggest smile on his face. "That's so cute! So you like cats, huh?"

"I do!" She was still smiling, but it was a tiresome facade….

"Sanzo's kinda allergic, but he likes them too! Maybe we'll get one sometime!"

"I'd like that."

"Hehehe~ …! Oh right!" And Goku held up a nikuman for him. "I got a snack and brought you something, too! I noticed you hadn't been eating much lately so you can have that all to yourself, okay?"

"So sweet… thank you, Goku!" Koume patted his head and the two headed home. She was feeling too upset to eat, but if she didn't, she would have only upset Goku. He only wanted to help… he had a kind heart, and when someone he cared for was upset, he wanted to make things all better- even if he couldn't understand what was wrong. So, Koume forced herself to eat the nikuman on the way back to the inn. Upon returning, they found Hakkai still out cold and the other two moping about. Gojyo was outside smoking when they walked up so he quickly snuffed out his cigarette and entered with them. Koume's downcast expression did not go unnoticed.

"Something happen out there?" He asked softly. So damn perceptive…

"Nope! We got everything on your BADLY WRITTEN note and even missed the rain!" Goku announced, pleased.

"Good to hear…" What, no retort to the insult? Goku had expected- and possibly hoped for- an argument ,but Gojyo was far too distracted. He took the bag from Koume and tried to look her in the eye; she wouldn't have it. She quickly bowed her head before moving past him to lock herself away in Sanzo's room. She didn't come down for dinner and with the who Cho's gone, there was a heavy feeling of tension amongst the other three. Goku wasn't even his usual self anymore, staring down at his empty plate instead of reaching for some of the remaining food.

"Aren't you going to stuff your face, monkey?" Gojyo teased, hand wandering by Goku's plate, as if to snatch the food sitting in front of him.

"No, we should save some for Hakkai and Koume when they're hungry." That stopped Gojyo's wandering hand. The growing silence was unbearable…

"Ne… will they be okay?" Sanzo didn't look his way, trying to enjoy a much-needed smoke.

"Duh, you stupid monkey!" Gojyo replied, bopping the boy on the head playfully. But Goku wasn't in a playful mood and he pushed Gojyo's hand away, standing up.

"Don't make light of this…! Something is happening here! Hakkai is looking worse and worse and it seems to be spreading to Koume, too!" No response. "I don't know what's going on, but-"

"Leave it alone, monkey." Sanzo finally said, giving him a look of warning across the table. "This is between the two of them. You shouldn't get involved in something beyond your understanding." But no… Goku wouldn't back down this time. Sanzo was scary, but something needed to be done!

"Then help me understand! I can't just sit here and watch everything fall apart in front of me! You've always kept secrets from me and because of it, I don't know how to help! I deserve to know… to understand… I just want to help the people I love…" Goku's head went down and the other two exchanged glances. It really wasn't fair to keep Goku in the dark… and he had a point- they couldn't sit idly by and hope things work themselves out anymore. So, Sanzo stood, lighting up again, and took Goku outside to talk. When they left, Gojyo loaded up two more plates and headed upstairs. He set Hakkai's food on a table in his room, but more than likely, Hakuryuu would end up eating it. He then left and headed to Sanzo's room. Honestly, he wasn't expecting an answer when he knocked on the door, but sure enough, it opened slightly and Gojyo got a good look at Koume's face. Her cheeks were pink, eyes red and puffy…. Things were getting so bad and nobody was giving him a chance to help. At least he could make sure they ate something. He held out the plate, putting on a sincere expression.

"You didn't come down to eat, so I brought you dinner."

"I'm not hungry…" She tried to close the door but he caught hold of it. She was still a child, still running away from her problems, but as an adult, it was Gojyo's responsibility to teach her better. Well… it was Hakkai's job, but the other just didn't have his heart in it.

"You may not feel hungry now, Koume, but you still have to get something down. You're eating for two now. You need to feed yourself as well as your baby…" he kept his voice down, but at the mention of the child, Koume's expression only darkened. A baby really shouldn't be having a baby of her own…. "You want your baby to be healthy, don't you?"

"…I don't know." That wasn't the answer Gojyo had expected to hear. His eyes widened slightly.

"What… did you say?"

"I'm not sure I should be having it…. Maybe it's better for everyone if I just…" Just what? Got rid of it? What was she thinking…? This was very bad! Was this really coming from the kind, loving Koume he knew? Her personality was changing drastically, just like Hakkai's, and it wasn't right! Gojyo set the plate on the floor and firmly held her shoulders.

"Koume, what are you saying? This is your baby you're talking about… and a life shouldn't be disregarded…!" She didn't respond. Gojyo was feeling desperate.

"We have to tell someone…. You don't have to handle this on your own… let us help you!" But she shook her head.

"Why don't you want to tell? Do you think… they'll look down on you? That isn't true, Koume… If anything, this is Sanzo's fault for being so negligent!" His 'fault'? So, it was a bad thing…..

"…I don't want them to know."

"But Koume!"

"Please Gojyo… I'm begging you… don't tell…" She looked up then, the desperation showing in her eyes. "Please…"

Gojyo was up against a wall with an arm twisted behind his back… how could he betray her confidence just like that? He knew she was struggling with it, but he just couldn't bring himself to go against her. He knew she needed help. They couldn't deal with this all on their own, but how much further could he stand to let it go before he was willing to betray her- even if it was for her own good? Gojyo wanted nothing more than to kick Sanzo's ass, and they'd both probably be killed by Hakkai, but… His mind was screaming at him, his heart wrenching in his chest, but he slowly released Koume, handed her the food and left. For now… he would continue to bite his tongue.

This was…. A mess…


	6. Chapter 6

((Just a note: This next scene is steamy so prepare yourselves! XP I don't write scenes like this often but hopefully it turns out well! Enjoy!))

Chapter 6

Koume stayed in Sanzo's bed for a long time, so many thoughts swimming around her head. She half expected Gojyo to betray her and tell the others, so she wondered… was she waiting for someone to run in and scold her? Did she expect someone to hit her, rebuke her? Did she want that? Had things gotten so bad that she was hoping for punishment simply so that her existence could be acknowledged and validated? It was pathetic… She knew Gojyo was right, though: she needed to tell someone. But still, she could not dispel the fears in her heart- How would the others react? Would they hurt her? Abandon her? But also… what kind of child would she bear? A half breed child like Gojyo? Would her baby… even be born alive? She hadn't… what if that meant she was incapable of birthing a real child? She couldn't stand the thought… She had to…get rid of it… somehow…

All of these questions weighed on her already weary mind and soon, sleep finally came to take her to that hazy, warm place. She loved that space, just between sleep and consciousness, but all too soon she was pulled back to the realm of the conscious by a hand stroking her cheek and the bed sinking under someone's weight. Damn… light sleeper. Golden red eyes blearily opened and waited for the haze to clear before glancing up to see a head of gold leaning down towards her. Her eyes closed as their lips connected and she felt Sanzo's warm mouth moving over hers. His lips were so soft, and his musk filled her nose. There was no one in any world that smelled like him… When he pulled back, her face was flushed slightly, somewhat drunk off of the monk. Sanzo stood slowly and held out his hand; Koume looked at it and then up to the priest's gentle face.

"Come take a bath with me."

Open air baths had been increasingly popular and one reason Sanzo had chosen that village was because of its proximity to one. He and Koume walked a while and finally found it on the outskirts of town- thankfully it was also so remote that it was currently unoccupied. Sanzo paid for the time, wanting to make sure they had one bath to themselves for privacy, then took Koume to the changing room. Changing behind a curtain, Koume's mind ran again. Sanzo had never asked for her to bathe with him before… it was too forward a thing for him to do. She didn't want to seem ungrateful, but it was suspicious timing, given the problems unfolding in the group. Sanzo went on ahead but Koume hesitated, unsure of what may play out once she joined him. Looking down, she touched her bare stomach… it hadn't become distended yet so it wasn't obvious she was with child, but what if something else tipped Sanzo off? She had to tread carefully and test the waters… and speaking of water….

"Koume?" Sanzo was calling her. She couldn't keep him waiting long… so she wrapped a towel tightly about herself and walked out into the cool air. She was taken by surprise- she hadn't expected the air to feel so chilly and she hugged her arms.

"It's cold…!"

"It'll be wander when you get in." Koume lifted her head and looked towards the bath to see Sanzo sitting upright… a blindfold tied over his eyes. A gentlemen to the very end… It was a sweet gesture to help make Koume comfortable but it also relit that fire inside her. To think that Sanzo would make himself so vulnerable in front of her… Koume approached him slowly, cautiously and she waved a hand in front of his face. He didn't move or respond… he didn't reach out or pull her in… so slowly, she slipped into the bath next to him. Almost instantly, she felt her body begin to relax in the hot water, causing a contented sigh to leave her lips. This brought a smile to Sanzo and the two sat in comfortable silence for some time. For a brief moment, Koume wondered if Sanzo's blindfold was see-through, but not once did Sanzo look her way or act in any perverse or suspicious manner. This and the clear sky above them made Koume happy. It was a very good date, indeed… But her mind could not be distracted long and soon, a churning in her stomach reminded her, wiping the smile off her face. …Should she talk to him about it? Should she ask him? What should she do…? Sanzo could almost sense her unease and turned his head towards her.

"Something wrong?"

"I… was just thinking… about something."

"What?"

"….It's nothing important." Sanzo grunted.

"Don't piss me off. You wouldn't be avoiding it if it were stupid. Just say it." Sanzo was getting angry… she was ruining the date he worked so hard to put together… she was afraid her question would just make it worse, but…

"Would you… ever want to have a baby….?" Koume looked up and saw Sanzo's jaw unhinge just for a moment. She'd blown it…

"What… brought that up?" Aw shoot, she was in for it now! Lie… think of a lie!

"I… saw a woman with a baby in town earlier… I just…." Weak. Pathetic… he'd never buy that! ….Or maybe he would…

"….I see." Sanzo looked forward again. "You're a bit young to be thinking things like that." Gojyo had said that, too…

"So…. That's a no?" Koume's head went down.

"….We live too dangerous a life to bring a child into it. This world isn't safe…"

"…"

"But… someday?" He shrugged, and that was the end of it. The answer she received gave her no comfort or closure. There was absolutely no way she could tell him now… Silence overcame them again but about then, Sanzo would be indulging himself in a simple pleasure… in the hopes of fixing the tense feeling between them, she rubbed his arm softly.

"Do you want to smoke, Genjyo?"

Once mentioned, the addiction center of Sanzo's brain turned on like a light, flooding his body with a feeling of intense need. He could have lasted had she not said anything, but now, his nicotine deprived body was complaining.

"Damn…" Koume chuckled.

"I know you're trying to be romantic, but if you lose your temper due to lack of smokes, it wont be good for anyone, will it?"

"You're annoying sometimes… too damn perceptive. You have our routines memorized, don't you?"

"More or less."

"I don't want to leave you on your own right now…" Sanzo hesitated to say.

"You'll be right back, so what's the harm? Go on…" She leaned up to kiss his cheek softly, lovingly, before Sanzo stood and left the bath to smoke in the changing room. Koume watched him leave then sank down into the water, the darkness creeping back in. It was sweet, really… for Sanzo to take her out like that. It wasn't as though they'd ever had much opportunity to go out like a real couple, so it was nice. Then again, Sanzo had been overly kind to her the past few weeks…. No doubt, he was trying to distract her from Hakkai. Was his kindness was nothing more than a smokescreen to blind her from what was going on in the group that she desperately wanted to be a part of? Somehow, thinking of it like that made her feel sad. She wanted in… but it almost seemed as though she was being held at arms' length. Why wouldn't they let her in?

Koume recalled the night they arrived in the town… with the rain falling down… Not everyone was happy, but they were comfortable with each other, joking around, threatening each other… It was normal for them. So where could she fit in? How could she become one of them? All she wanted was to fit into their family… but now, with an unwanted child on the way, her tiny place in their hearts was slipping away from her… She couldn't keep it… she couldn't tell them… or else….

"….I'd ruin it…."

"This is why I shouldn't leave you on your own." Sanzo's gruff voice startled her and before she could react, Sanzo stepped back into the bath, wrapped his blindfold around her wrists and had her pinned against the edge. He was so fast and Koume was soon rendered helpless against him. The top of her towel was slipping and her breasts were pressed up against cool tile. She hoped he wasn't looking- the position made her feel so defenseless and embarrassed. She kept her eyes shut tight, breath already coming in short pants as she tried to steady her madly beating heart. Sanzo stood behind her, body pressed against her, and deeply he whispered into her ear.

"You think stupid things when you're alone."

Koume couldn't deny it; she could hardly even speak. Her face was flushed her body was on fire… Sanzo had amazing control over her! She felt tense, but she was putty in his skilled hands… The situation was overwhelming but faintly, she managed to stutter out a few coherent words.

"D-do I…?"

"Yes, you do." He said simply, his mouth preoccupied with a tender spot on her shoulder. She moaned, so sensitive to his ministrations. So soft, so trained… even the smallest touch of Sanzo's hands could send her over the edge, but if he satisfied her too quickly, what fun would that be for the monk? No, he wasn't a monk right now… he was just a man with the woman he loved. He sucked on her shoulder blade softly and received a pleasured moan in response- this pleased Sanzo greatly. He knew she was his and his alone. No one else had touched or kissed her like he had and it made it all the more special. She was his precious treasure and he'd never give her up to anyone else. As his mouth pleasured her back and neck, the hand not restraining her wrists explored, wandering from her chest, down her side to her bare thigh. Her moans were sounding more and more delicious to his ears and when his hand traveled back upwards, hiking up the already too-short towel, her body jolted and trembled. Her breath hitched, her body tightened up and all of it was just what Sanzo wanted. She was so easy to please and too fun to tease… But he was nowhere near finished with her.

*meanwhile*

Gojyo and Goku had seen the two leave very secretively and as usual, their curiosity got the better of them. They stayed out of sight and slowly followed the lovebirds out of the city. When they saw the hot spring, they became jealous, but what they saw inside filled them with completely different feelings. Gojyo quickly covered Goku's eyes and mouth but he hadn't a spare hand to cover his own nose which was leaking blood. They stayed out of sight but had more than a good enough view of the intimate sight before them.

"P…please…"

"Not yet. Not yet…" Koume was moaning and Sanzo was grinning as he grunted… oh god, what had they walked in on? He knew it was wrong, but Gojyo almost didn't want to look away from the tantalizing sight before him. Koume wasn't just Hakkai's kid, she wasn't just anyone: she was a healthy young woman with needs of her own… But no! Koume was still only a child and those sorts of things weren't for children! Gojyo made a mental note to scold Sanzo later… but he'd probably kill him for spying in the first place. Koume moaned louder but Gjoyo kept his eyes shut tightly. He knew what they were doing, but he had to ignore it! It wasn't his business! Finally, he forced his body to move and pulled Goku out of there. His heart finally began to slow down on the long walk back, but once seen, some things cannot be unseen. Why did he have to keep walking in on them like that? He sighed… and then for just a brief moment, something popped into his head.

Would that hurt the baby?


	7. Chapter 7

Hakkai was walking in darkness for so long… he wasn't sure how long he'd been there, or where he even was, but it was cold and lonely… Unlike before, there were no memories to haunt him, no scent of blood and no rain… he was soon running, calling out for someone- anyone! He didn't want to be alone any longer…! Then, the outline of a figure appeared before him… a young woman, perhaps. It was hard to see who it was through the darkness, but he was relieved he wasn't all alone. He slowly approached her from behind, voice soft.

"Who's there?" He received no response.

"Can you hear me? Can you help me get out of here?" Still, the girl remained still and silent as a statue.

"Please… I just want help…: Hesitantly, he moved around the girl and though her head was down, he began to recognize her.

"K….Koume…?" He sighed, feeling relieved. "Koume, I'm glad you found me… but how did you get here? Do you know where we are?" No response.

"Koume…? What's wrong…?" He slowly reached out to her.

"…You don't want me." He stopped, shocked by her strange, somber tone.

"What…? Koume, how could you say something like that…?"

"It's true. You never wanted me… all you ever wanted… was **her**." Hakkai almost couldn't breathe. What was she saying? …only that… which was lying deep in his heart…

"K-Koume… I…"

"Do you want me… to give her back to you?"

"What…?" What was she saying? "Koume… stop it…"

"I'll give her back if that's what you wish…"

"Koume, stop it! Just stop!"Hakkai's voice was growing unnaturally angry. "Kanan is gone! She wont ever come back!" Tears formed in his eyes but he didn't care to wipe them away… Why was Koume saying such cruel things? Koume lifted her head then, but her face wasn't one he recognized… instead it was twisted, dark, demonic… this wasn't Koume, was it? She took a step towards him and Hakkai recoiled his hand, frightened and repulsed by her appearance. He watched in horror as she continued to advance towards him, her stomach growing right in front of him.

"If you want her… then take her…"

"N-no!" The monster reached out for him again and this time, Hakkai retaliated out of reflex, firing a ball of chi at her. Time slowed down and Hakkai watched her face change back to normal, eyes widening as her body was damaged by the blast. He regretted it… he hated himself…! What had he just done…? Running forward, he caught her body as it fell and laid her over his lap. Her eyes were empty, body covered in blood.

"No… Koume, I…! I didn't mean-" Something moved under her skin… it was a sickening sight to behold and in an instant, something burst out of her stomach- a hand. Hakkai screamed, trying to pull away but the hand caught him and a body began emerging from Koume's body.

"K-Kanan…?" She was bloodied, twisted like Koume had been, and looked nothing like the woman he loved.

"Gonooooouuuu….!"

Hakkai awoke with a start, sitting upright in bed and nearly scaring Hakuryuu off the pillow. His breath came in shallow, painful gasps and his chest felt as if it were in a vice. The images from the dream began to fade but he feared he could never fully forget those terrifying images. Things had been bad before, but this…! What did it mean? Why was he having dreams like that? He shut his eyes, trying his hardest to push the dreams away but he jumped when he felt movement against his hip. His eyes traveled downward and even without his monocle he could see the faint outline of a young woman asleep at his bedside. Koume was sitting on the floor, only her arms and head resting on the mattress, face looking calm and peaceful. Hakkai couldn't help but feel slightly jealous… This Koume was the real one, not at all like the woman he'd seen in his nightmares- how could he ever see her like that? 'She may be a demon, but there wasn't a kinder soul in this or any other world' he thought as he watched her sleeping face. It was comforting… that comfort was something Hakkai had craved for many a night. Hakkai softly patted her head and she sighed, he then removed one of his blankets and laid it over her shoulders, his parental instincts kicking in. He noted that her wrist had healed up… just how long had he been asleep for? How long had he been worrying his dear friends? Too long… he had to put an end to it. He had to let go of his negativity ad focus on what was truly important…

"Koume… I wont… let you become a monster… I promise. I haven't treated you well… and you deserve a far better father than someone like me… but I'll set things right. I'll try… to move on." He promised himself he'd make a change, no matter how difficult it was… He would smile again- even if he had to lie to himself to do it.

By the time Koume awoke, the sun was already up and she was lying in a bed that wasn't Sanzo's. The blanket was warm, the pillow was soft, and she could feel the breathing of a small dragon near her head. Closing her eyes, Koume wanted to drift back into that comfort of sleep but something sparked in her head: Hakuryuu only slept in Hakkai's room. Koume sat upright, looking around- sure enough, she was in Hakkai's room and said parental figure was nowhere to be seen. How long had she been sleeping? When did he get up? How did she find her way into his place? Her mind was reeling and she was about to throw back the covers when the door opened and in walked Hakkai holding a tray with a bowl of water and some tea. His face didn't look as pale as it was and he was… smiling.

"Hakkai…"

"Sorry… did I wake you?" His voice was back to normal, too. There was no contempt or pain in his tone… what had changed? Hakkai set the bowl next to the bed and sat down beside her. He wrapped an arm around her and pressed a hand to her forehead, eyes closed.

"Mm… still slightly warm…"

"W…warm…?" Koume said, confused.

"Yeah… when I woke up, you were running a fever so I moved you to the bed. I warned you not to stay out in the rain so long. It's gone down some, but you should rest for a while longer." Koume couldn't explain the feelings rushing through her, then. Hakkai was holding her close, he was calm and caring…. She was so happy that she wanted to cry.

"You're… back to normal…" she said, lightly clinging to his shirt. Hakkai looked down and saw tears forming in her eyes. "I was so worried… that you'd gone someplace far away…" Someplace far…? Hakkai felt a pang of guilt for having worried her as well as the others. It would take time, but he was confident he could rebuild their bond and earn back their trust. He would lie for the rest of his life… lie that he was happy, lie that Koume didn't hurt him, lie that he didn't want his love back… he would build a new life on these lies if it meant he could stay as he was.

"Sorry…" Hakkai said, wiping her tears away. "Sleep now… you'll feel better."

"Could I… use your lap?" She said with a sniffle.

"Of course." Hakkai almost smiled as Koume shifted to lay her head on his lap, holding onto one of his hands. His free hand lightly rubbed her back until she drifted off to sleep. Watching her sleep was still comforting, but seeing her cry nearly broke him. Was he really so frail? How long could he keep this up…?

By midday, the group gathered together again for the first time in so long and they went for a walk through the town. Koume's fever had gone down remarkably fast and she was chatting with Goku up front while the other three hung back. Gojyo threw an arm around Hakkai.

"Damnit, man, you sure caused a lot of trouble, ya know! We've been stuck in his hic town for too long already!"

"Sorry…" Hakkai chuckled. "I forgot you get bored easily… But I'm alright now!"

"Are you really?" Sanzo spoke up, eyeing Hakkai.

"Don't I look like myself again?"

"Only a fool believes appearances alone." He said simply. Hakkai knew Sanzo would be a tough one to fool…

"What do I need to do to prove to you that I'm all better?"

"Who knows... but you got over it awfully fast and it's suspicious."

"Well… I suppose it was Koume who did it…" Hakkai looked ahead and saw her smiling face. "When I woke up this morning, she was lying there looking so cute… she had only been worried about me and I let my own issues catch hold of me. When I saw her lying there I just thought… what could be so wrong in my life? There's not a single thing I could ask for that I don't have already." Sanzo wasn't satisfied with that answer, but Gojyo appeared okay with it. He gave Hakkai a noogie and the group fell back into routine. The party reached the market in the square, looking for some lunch, and that's when they saw the townspeople setting up lights and booths.

"Did we catch these people in the middle of a festival or something…?" Gojyo asked aloud, and an elderly man nearby answered back.

"This is our annual spirit crossing festival…"

"Spirit crossing?"

"It is a time in which the townspeople gather to honor the spirits of those who have died during the year. Sometimes, an individual loses their life and their spirit is too weary or distressed to cross on… we light candles for those spirits to help guide them to where they belong. This is a time not for grieving, but for letting go… it brings peace to the living and closure to our beloved dead."

"…Beloved dead…"

"Eh, superstitious bastards." Gojyo mocked quietly.

"Quiet. This is an honorable tradition for the faithful." Sanzo scolded. "There's a lot of good in honoring the dead so that their souls do not corrode in this world.

"What, you actually believe in ghosts, Sanzo?"

"I've seen my share, as I'm sure others have." Sanzo briefly glanced at Hakkai, but the brunette turned his head away.

"Well, we wont be here to hang around, right? We need to get going."

"No… we'll stay."

"Eh…?"

"You wanna stay for the party, Sanzo?"Goku asked excitedly.

"Not really… but I think this is a good opportunity for all of us."

"Opportunity for what? For what, Sanzo?" Instead of answering, Sanzo kept walking, taking Koume's hand as he went. She didn't quite understand his meaning either, but was happy for the contact. The others followed along.

"Come on, Sanzo! Don't keep secrets! I wanna know!"

"Shut up!" The sound of a fan echoed in the square.

No more complaints were heard- until the group went to lunch and their usual antics started up just like normal. How easy it was, Hakkai noticed, for things to return to normal. It was comforting that he'd not messed up so badly as to ruin their relationships… He did notice a few changes, however: Gojyo was sneaking Koume extra food while nobody was looking and Koume reluctantly at it. Sanzo was being overly protective and somehow less agitated than before… Goku, at least, could be counted upon not to change much. It was a small change, but one that Hakkai could live with. The five of them left early to avoid causing too much of a scene but on the way back to the inn, Gojyo spotted a particular shop, grabbed Koume's arm, and pulled her inside.

"Why am I trying on dresses…?" Koume said after having been led into a clothing store changing room. Gojyo had picked out an assortment of dresses for her to try.

"Because this is a formal occasion we'll be going to… I think you should have something nice to wear! Don't you fellas agree?"

"Yeah…!"

"Well," Hakkai smiled. "We're on the road so often and Koume doesn't have a lot of nice clothes to wear…"

"Uh-huh! And girls like to feel pretty now and then!"

"But Koume is always pretty weather she's in a dress or not…" Goku said with a pout.

"I-I know that! Geez, you don't get women at all you stupid monkey."

"Don't call me a monkey, you water sprite!"

Girls are supposed to wear dresses… was that how it was? Koume had never needed to dress nicely before and she was not entirely sure what looked good or not. She just liked wearing what was comfort able and easy to move around in. Was that not right? She decided to try on her selections, most of which Sanzo and Hakkai turned down, but one dress seemed to hug every curve and the material felt good… she stepped out of the dressing room one more time to show off a long dress with a high collar and stitched patterns on the sleeves. Gojyo whistles, Sanzo tilted his head and Goku complimented her. When Hakkai looked over, however, he broke to pieces. The dress... Looked so much like Kanan's… it was almost identical! Why… why was this happening? Koume turned to him and smiled, her mouth speaking words that never reached his ears. He was lost in his own mind, trying his very hardest not to lose control. His hands clenched into fists, his jaw stiffened and his eyes hardened. No… it wasn't right… it wouldn't do… He turned and ran out of the shop without a word. He ignored the calls of the others and just ran as hard and as fast as he could. He ran until the town was far behind him and there was nothing but sand and rocks. Hakkai collapsed onto his knees gasping for air. He didn't know where he was and at the time, he didn't care. There was nothing and no one around him… he was alone… save for a little flying dragon who had followed after his master. Hakuryuu landed on a rock in front of Hakkai , 'kyuu' ing softly.

"H-Hakuryuu…" Hakkai sat up against the rock and pulled his dear companion to his chest, head lowering.

"I'm awful…. Aren't I…? It's shameful what I've done… what kind of demon am I…?"

"kyuu…"

"I wouldn't call you a demon." A voice spoke up nearby, alarming Hakkai. He prepared a chi ball but hesitated when he saw Kougaiji waking up to him.

"You…"

"You call yourself a demon but you're more human than anything. Don't blame your demon half for the mess you're in." Hakkai wasn't sure what to do… should he attack the demon in front of him, should he flee? Kougaiji didn't make a move to attack, however, and instead took a seat in the sand across from him.

"…What are you doing here? I don't have the maten scripture…"

"I'm not after the scripture today. I'm here… for something else."

" And that would be…?"

"Koume." Kougaiji's eyes were dead serious and Hakkai felt conflicted.

"What…? I don't understand…"

"I want to take her back with me."

"! You can't…!"

"Why not? You think I'm some awful person but what I'm offering isn't as bad as you might think. I saved that child, you know. I gave her a chance to live… when you left her to die." That cut into Hakkai like a knife. How easy it was to wound someone without wielding any weapon at all.

"You…"

"There's a lot you don't know about her, Hakkai. Listen… and maybe you'll come to understand things better. I'm sure you'll make the right choice after you hear me out. After you know what Koume really is."


	8. Chapter 8

It was dark and cold that day… The sky was black as ash, the rain was pounding down and thunder pounded in my ears and the moon… the moon was a hellish red. Lightning stuck nearby our destination… the castle of Yakugen mao. An ominous feeling set in my stomach and I glanced at my companion, Dokugakuji, who was flying on a dragon next to me, but… before we even set foot inside, we knew evil had been done that night. We walked slowly, carefully stepping over piles of demon corpses littering the floor as we searched every level for survivals, only to find none. There was no longer anything living in that place. The scent of blood was so intense it stung my nose.

"What kind of monster could do all this…?" Dokugakuji asked, kneeling down to check for a pulse of a small demon who stared up at us with empty eyes. Dead. Like everything else there… it was unlikely to find even a single demon alive.

"I have no idea…" I replied softly, finding it difficult to speak.

"Could Mao have completely lost it?" Could he destroy his own following so heartlessly? No. moments later, as we entered the throne room, we found him murdered like the rest. We continued our search from the highest tower to the lowest level, desperately searching for survivors , but found nothing but rotting corpses. We went down to the dungeons lastly and a disturbing sight caught my eye. Inside one of the cells was a human woman… one of his unfortunate captives, but she was dead as well.

"They even killed a human prisoner? How depraved…"

"Look again, Doku." I said, pointing out a faint shimmer from a knife laying beside her.

"I'm guessing she didn't see any other way out, given the position she was in… Surely it's better than being eaten alive by the Lord of this castle."

"What a waste…" Dokugakuji stood and glanced my way as I stared mournfully at this woman. Why did I feel so sad…?

"She was lovely, wasn't she?" I asked quietly.

"…I suppose she was." Clearly, my companion was confused as to why I would say such a thing, and I didn't understand it, myself. Sighing, the other turned away from the cell.

"The old bat isn't going to be happy about this. She wanted this demon's allegiance, but he's not good to anyone dead."

"…It's karma." I said simply, unsympathetically. "Mao was a sadistic monster who hungered for the flesh of innocent humans. I never had a stomach for his antics. A man without morals is nothing but a beast in my eyes. That's one reason I can trust you completely… you haven't lost your heart."

"Thank you…" I narrowed my eyes, still unable to pull away from the sight of the woman.

"We may be reviving a monster, but we're better men than this…. This world doesn't need that kind of cruelty." From the corner of my eye, I caught the faintest smile on my compatriot's face. "What?"

"Nothing… it's just inspiring to listen to you. You're strong but kind as well. You will make a glorious leader someday… and I will be forever at your side, Lord Kougaiji." His words hit close to my heart and warmed my soul…

"Doku…"

"Shall we leave, then? This overwhelming smell of death isn't pleasant in the least."

"Yeah… there's nothing we can do here." I finally turned away, ready to leave the awful place behind when I heard something…. It was quiet, faint… a soft voice calling out to me. Startled, I turned back around, searching for the source of the noise. But everything in that dungeon was dead… Even so, I continued to hear that voice, calling out to me. After a moment, I found myself staring back at the cell where the woman lay.

"Kou, What's wrong?"

"That voice…"

"A voice?"

"Can't you hear it…?" I faintly cover my ears, trying to block out the voice but I heard it still, as if it was inside me. "It's calling me… from in there." I didn't understand what was happening, and before Dokugakuji could stop me, I had torn the door from its hinges and walked in, kneeling over the corpse. My dear friend followed me, concern evident in his voice.

"Kou, this is crazy… there's no one here."

"You're wrong. I hear this voice coming from-"

"From what? This woman is **dead**. She reeks of decay. There's no way that-"

Ignoring him again, I reached out and hesitantly turned the woman over onto her back. The sight was even more gruesome than I had previously thought… There were bruises all over her body and a large gash in her stomach, drying blood everywhere… and she was obviously dead, but even so, I could still hear the voice. I felt like I was some crazy person… had seeing all this death make me go insane? I leaned over the woman, led by nothing but instinct and pressed my ear close to her wounded stomach, and that's when I heard it, clearer than ever.

_You found me._

"Dokugakuji! It's alive! There's something alive inside her!" Dokugakuji looked utterly disgusted.

"You've got to be kidding me…" I hastily rolled up my sleeves and tried to prepare myself for this…

"Forgive me…" It wasn't in my morals to defile a corpse, but if there was some chance I could save even one life from that hell, I owed it to myself to at least try. As carefully as I could, I stretched the wound, nearly causing Dokugakuji to gag.

"Lord Kougaiji, please stop! This is crazy! Nothing could survive like this…!"

"You're wrong, and I'm going to prove it to you!" I'll save you… that's what I was thinking as I plunged my hand inside her. The instant I did so, however, I felt the almost unbearable urge to vomit. It was strangely still warm inside, and squishy, but the most disgusting thing I had ever felt before. Forcing down the bile forming in the pit of my stomach, I probed the wound further, getting closer to something that most definitely felt warm. Then I felt something… like a membrane of sorts. The moment I touched it, I felt movement, nearly causing me to retract my hand in shock.

"I found it! Help me!" Very unwillingly, Dokugakuji knelt beside me and together, we forcefully pulled the organ out of the woman's body, blood spraying all over us as we did so, but when it was out, I just didn't understand… what was it?

"It's… her uterus…" Dokugakuji said softly, shaking his head in disbelief. How could a baby still be alive inside its mother after her body had grown cold? There were so many questions jumbling up in my head, but as we held this bundle, I could feel it's warmth quickly draining away, so Dokugakuji graciously removed his jacket and gave it to me to wrap around the bundle. We left quickly, setting the castle ablaze as we flew away on the flying dragons, the bundle held close to my chest. I don't know why I decided to take it with me… maybe I was compelled by the voice I heard before, maybe I wanted to in some way atone for the injustice done there… but either way, I couldn't help but think that this child would be very special. By the time we returned, the voice had silenced and the mound of flesh gone cold, and with no other choice, I brought it before Gyokumen Koushu.

"Kougaiji… how dare you appear before me looking so hideously filthy! What have you done?" She asked me in a menacing tone. I did not falter.

"I went to the castle as instructed but found every demon slaughtered. A thousand lives completely destroyed. My lady…" Oh how I hated kissing up to that damned woman, but if I wanted to get anything from her, I knew I had to grit my teeth and bear it.

"However, I did find one alive… sort of." I said, looking down at the bloodied jacket in my arms. It was so small… so cold… Was I too late?

"It doesn't look alive to me. Just a pound of useless flesh."

"Well it's more than that to me."

"…Do I sense a favor from you, Kougaiji?" She looked far too pleased with herself for my liking. Gritting my teeth and trying not to glare, I looked back up at her.

"Please… save it." The woman grinned devilishly, relishing in my weakness for life and the power she held over me. At first, I thought she would refuse me and order me to dispose of it, but instead, she snapped her fingers, that creepy doctor appearing immediately as though it was planned all along.

"You called me, my… excellence?" He asked, voice gravelly as always.

"Yes. Kougaiji has brought a new project for you."

"Oh, has he now…?" When Nii looked my way, I felt an icy chill creep up my spine and unconsciously held the bundle tighter to me, fearful of what I'd just gotten myself into. What had I done…? Nii slowly walked towards me, taking in the sight of blood and made me feel even more uncomfortable than usual. He held out one hand, the other holding up that damn bunny of his. Oh how I wanted to rip that stupid thing apart… but I behaved myself and reluctantly handed over the bundle. He wasn't even holding it carefully. It was a child inside… but to him, it was merely an object.

"I thank you, my lord Kougaiji. I wanted to start a new experiment… and what a delightful opportunity you've given me. Now we can test the powers of the seiten scripture." Shit.

"I wonder… can I bring this poor creature back to life?"

"If you can't bring that **thing** to life, then you would have no hope of reviving my beloved back. Do not disappoint me, doctor."

"I wouldn't dream of it, my lady."

Helplessly, I watched him leave with that unborn child and for three weeks, I wandered aimlessly throughout the castle, awaiting news from Nii. Finally, three weeks later, I was summoned to his lab and walked inside to behold a remarkable sight… In the back of the lab was a large yellow pod, hooked up to many mechanical devices and also connected to the Seiten scripture- the bright yellow glow hurt my eyes at first, but when they adjusted, I saw it…

"Remarkable, isn't it?" The doctor asked, stepping up beside me.

"The scripture is truly powerful!"

What was merely an unborn, underdeveloped fetus was now a growing child- one that looked to be four years old.

"How is this possible…? She was only given to you…"

"Obviously we sped up her aging so that we could gather more data." He answered coolly. He really didn't see the significance in human life at all. Although… this child didn't look exactly human. Her ears were slightly pointed, there was no demonic marking, or birthmark… but she had fangs. A halfbreed…? How could she be, with her brown hair instead of red. And her eyes… a strange golden color with red streaks around her pupils. But those eyes… they looked empty.

"What's wrong with her? Her eyes are…" I asked, setting a hand on the glass pod.

"Well, while the scripture was able to keep her body alive, it's impossible to create a soul. It must have been stillborn." But that wasn't right. It was moving, it was warm… not that Kougaiji was going to reveal that information.

"This jem… is nothing but a soulless doll."

After another month of testing, this child was released into my custody. The old hag was growing bored of her and I was given the task of watching over it.. but I couldn't see her as an object, so I spoke to her, held her, tried to teach her… and she soon showed signs of intelligence. She spoke, moved on her own, ate… Her eyes began to show signs of life and while I thought that to be a miracle, Nii thought it was a strange occurrence and took her from me on multiple occasions. Yaone and Dokugakuji seemed to like her… and I adored her… I tried to protect her, but I was failing miserably. Every time Nii took her, he'd torture her, test her and throw her back in that pod, and every time I got her back, she was older and older. When she was about the age of 16, I put a stop to it, taking her completely under my wing. I continued to teach her, feed her… and in time, we even trained together. She was so much stronger and livelier than I had ever imagined… I just couldn't let her suffer any longer.

"It took longer than I wanted, but I got her out of there… put her on the path to finding you. She ended up running into Sanzo first, but was injured after their meeting. I nursed her back to health, and then… she found you." Kougaiji said, finishing his story. He made sure to leave out sensitive details that would only upset Hakkai. If he was going to get what he wanted from him, he needed the other to be calm. Hakkai's head was down as he listened, processing everything.

"Why did you send her to us?"

"That's a stupid question. She had no one else, you know. It didn't take much research to find out she was yours. She deserved to know what it felt like to have family." Hakkai didn't reply right away.

"So… what are you going to do?"

"Do…?" The brunette lifted his head.

"You going to take care of her, or let her go?"

"Koume is free to leave whenever she wants."

"You say that… as though you don't care if she stays with you or not." Kougaiji's eyes narrowed, annoyed with this man who didn't seem to care.

"It's not that… it's just I…" Hakkai was hesitating.

"If you're unsure… then give her to me." That seemed to strike a chord. "I raised that child… I know more about her than anyone." Koume had turned him down every single time, but if Hakkai could help push her to him…

"But if she goes with you… she'll become our enemy. Wont she?" So close now… he just needed a little push.

"I wont let that happen. She'll be happy and safe… able to live a normal life away from danger. You have my word on that." The look in Hakkai's eyes was answer enough, and Kougaiji extended his hand to shake on it… which Hakkai hesitantly took, sealing the deal. Kougaiji was more than satisfied, and when he left, he wore an accomplished smile. Hakkai remained standing in place for a few moments, silently, before Hakuryuu transformed and let him drive back towards town. For the longest time, Hakkai had felt this uncomfortable weight resting on his shoulders, but now, suddenly, he felt lighter. Did that mean that he was doing right thing? Jeep make a noise of disappointment as he drove, and Hakkai's eyes softened, stroking the steering wheel.

"Don't worry… maybe this… is best."


	9. Chapter 9

Koume waited patiently in Hakkai's room, waiting, worrying and hoping he would return soon. He left so suddenly hours before and she couldn't understand why. He seemed to be back to normal until they went shopping… What had set him off? What was he upset about? Maybe he was only pretending to be okay… forcing his happiness so that everyone else wouldn't worry? But that wasn't right. …Not that she could speak. She was the pot calling the kettle black. She'd always held back her dark emotions like she'd been trained to do, but if she hoped for Hakkai to be honest, she decided she had to be as well. Suddenly, she heard the very familiar hum of Jeep pulling up outside and got to her feet excitedly. Finally he'd returned! She intended to right to him, wrap her arms around him and give him the biggest smile she had! She wandered towards the door when she heard talking coming from a room- Gojyo's room. It was Hakkai's voice… Now, she wasn't the type to spy, but the way their voices were hushed, they were being… secretive.

"You're a real pain in the ass, you know that, Hakkai?" Gojyo said, obviously frustrated.

"Yeah… sorry." Hakkai laughed softly, much like he used to do before. Koume put an ear to the door so she could listen in.

"You worried the hell out of all of us! Why'd you suddenly go running off like that? If you're gone, it means we have to walk to India!"

"Yeah, I guess I wasn't really thinking properly, was I?" Hakkai rubbed the back of his head.

"So… where'd you go anyway, huh?"

"Just somewhere to think… sort out my thoughts, I suppose."

"And did you?" Hakkai nodded and Gojyo leaned in to hear what he had to say.

"I think… it would be best if Koume went back to Kougaiji." Koume thought she felt her heart stop hearing those painful words and Gojyo's cigarette fell from his lips in shock.

"The hell are you saying?!" He asked, a mixture of anger and denial in his voice. "She's one of us, Hakkai! She's family!"

"I don't know…"

"Don't say that! We know for a fact she's your kid! She's the spitting image of you! She's exactly the same as you in every way!"

"No… she's more… more like Kanan… and that's something I just… can't handle, okay?" Hakkai looked down, linking his hands together so they wouldn't shake. "Every time I look at her, I see Kanan… I see a ghost of the woman I loved with all my heart… It's painful for me."

"Painful or not, she's one of us! How could you think of sending her away?!"

"I'm just trying to do what's right here!"

"Bullshit! You're being cruel! You're making excuses to escape your own pain and guilt! I can't believe you're actually thinking of abandoning her!"

"No… it's not like that! I just…" Hakkai's voice softened, sounding somewhat more pained. "I just don't have room for anyone else in my heart…" Those words hit Koume hard… Was he referring to her, or… had Gojyo betrayed her and told him about her baby? That was it… her fears were suddenly realized… They were going to abandon her because she was pregnant… Without hearing the rest, Koume bolted from the door, immediately running out of the inn. Gojyo was struck silent.

"I have too much blood on my hands, Gojyo… I couldn't bear to lose anyone else I love… If she goes… then she'll be safe, and I wont have to worry…"

"…It's still wrong, Hakkai… She doesn't have anyone else but us… if we don't stick together… then what the hell kind of people are we?" Even though he'd struck a deal with Kougaiji, Hakkai was starting to doubt his decision… was it really the right thing, or….?

Koume didn't know or care where she was going… her heart felt like it was shattering inside her chest and she needed to escape… She ran for some time until her lungs began to burn, demanding a rest. She stepped into an alley and leaned against the wall, gasping for air. Tears streamed down her cheeks, stinging her eyes and her sobs wracked her small frame. She hated it… why did she have to be pregnant? Why did all this have to happen? Why was she in this position?! She hit the brick wall hard out of self-hatred, hand hurting from the impact but….

"I don't want it… if it means they'll leave me all alone, then… I don't want it…!" She then turned her fist on herself, hitting herself several times in the abdomen until she coughed up blood. "Get out… get out of me….!" She cried and yelled at this thing growing inside of her, knowing it couldn't possibly answer back. But if she damaged herself, enough… maybe she wouldn't be left behind.

"My my… what a deplorable sight this is..." Koume suddenly stopped, her muscles tensing, her eyes widening. She knew that voice… she would know it anywhere, and stiffly, she turned her head towards the entrance to the alley… the first thing coming into focus was a stuffed bunny.

"How is… my little pet project?"

"P…" A pet? No… no, she escaped that life… she was afraid of this man, but still she managed a glare, baring her fangs at this unwanted intruder.

"I'm no pet…!"

"Ah, perhaps you're right… you would have to be alive to be considered one, wouldn't you?" That was enough to silence her. Years of conditioning her through fear seemed to give Nii an advantage over her. She was a strong fighter, but in the battle of the minds, Nii could not be matched. She wanted to speak out, to tell him he was wrong, but how could she when she was thinking the same thing? Was she… was she really alive? Or was she just some phantom… a ghost, or some monster? What exactly was she? She had thoughts and feelings, felt emotions and pain… how does one define life? Nii was more than happy to watch her battle with herself.

"I created you, you know. When you were brought to me, you were nothing. I breathed life into you… you know you don't have a soul, don't you?"

" My soul…."

"That's right. All you are you owe to the power of science and the seiten scripture… you are an unholy monster! It's no wonder you've attached yourself to Sanzo… it's his scripture. You only care about that."

"No, you're wrong… he's my… they're…"

"You think they love you? You think the care what happens to you? If you're gone, nothing will change." Nii got closer, too close, and out of fear, Koume took a step back and pressed herself against the wall. Nii reached out and wrapped his fingers around her neck. Her eyes were locked with his as he got inside her head… hypnosis.. no, more like brainwashing. "They'll continue to head West whether you're here or not. You're disposable… they don't care about you." The wicked doctor then looked down at the scar poking out just above her collar. A scar that would never heal. "Even that scar of yours… your mother caused that. Didn't Lord Kougaiji tell you?" Koume's eyes widened even wider. She'd never heard where that scar came from… she had to wonder if Hakkai knew. "Your mother stabbed her stomach, taking her life and trying to take yours. Even your mother didn't want you to be born…. How sad." He didn't squeeze or try to choke her, but he did eye the limiter around her neck.

"You're basically a corpse…. No… you're too pretty to be a corpse. More like a lovely little doll… A nice shell, but inside, you're empty."

"E-empty…." Koume's heart only sank further into the darkness with every word.

"You weren't meant to live in this world… but you do have something very precious inside of you. Something that your dear daddy would want very much." Her eyes widened. She had something he wanted…? Seeing as he caught her interest, he grinned and continued.

"You have the key to life inside of you…" Slowly, Nii's hand wandered from her neck down over her chest and down to her lower abdomen, causing her to shudder. If there was one person she didn't want touching her…

"Women fascinate me so… Able to create life from nothing… but I wonder what a nothing like you could create. And what… does a soulless doll desire? Why don't you tell me?"

"I…." Koume found it hard to focus with Nii's hand continuing to move slowly lower. She shut her eyes and clenched her fists. "I just want them… to be happy…"

"Aw… so sweet… and so naïve…" Finally, he pulled his hand away, much to her relief. "If that's what you want, then there's only one thing you can do." His plan was set in motion… and after whispering his answer to her, he released her. She walked back to the inn slowly… she didn't have anywhere else to go, and if she only had a short time left with them, she wanted to be close. So, she slowly reentered the inn, immediately hearing her name being called. By the frustrated tone, Sanzo had been calling for her for a long time.. She went to him right away, finding him wandering the halls in his leather top and jeans-and the blonde was ready to yell at her for disappearing but seeing her red puffy eyes and the bruises on her hands, he temporarily forgot his anger and touched her cheek softly.

"Koume, what happened?"

What could she say? How could she tell him what she'd heard from Hakkai and that evil scientist? If he knew, he'd only get angry, but if she lied to him, would he be able to tell right away? She didn't want to give him any reason to lash out…. She didn't want what little time she had left to be wasted. Koume felt cornered with no place to run, and again, she felt tears starting to form in her eyes. Sanzo stroked her cheek softly, comfortingly… and his eyes softened ever so slightly. Still, he wanted an answer… he wanted to know what had caused this sudden change. She tried to think of what to say, tried to come up with some clever lie and brush this off… but she knew if she opened her mouth, only sobs would come out. Seeing her distress, Sanzo took her by the hand and led her back to his room, and settled down with her on the bed. He held her tightly against him, lightly rubbing her back as she cried almost silently against her chest. He hadn't known her to cry often, and admittedly was surprised by just how quiet her crying was. Did she always keep silent when she was crying? Maybe she cried all the time, but because she didn't make noise, none of them had noticed… What kind of pain was she so afraid of sharing that she had to hide from all of them? It took a while for her to calm down, and he could feel her breathing evenly against his chest. He looked down at her, eyes remaining soft, keeping his voice as gentle as he could.

"What happened…?" She opened her eyes slightly, head pounding from crying so much… but she still hadn't thought of anything to say. There was no lie convincing enough to get him to drop the issue, so she just sighed and clutched his shirt.

"…..Just a bad dream…" What else could she say…?


	10. Chapter 10

Two days remained until the festival in town but the tension in the Sanzo party was anything but festive. Sanzo was moodier than usual as he tried to figure out what was going on in the minds of his companions, Gojyo was beyond frustrated, Hakkai was silent and horribly conflicted and Koume could hardly even force a smile anymore. The only one who seemed to be more or less unaffected was Goku, and he took it upon himself to try and cheer everyone up. He recommended a leisurely stroll through town and though no one wanted to, they humored him and walked about to observe the townspeople set up.

"You know, Sanzo…" Goku started, trying to open a conversation. "This festival thingy…"

"What about it?" Sanzo asked, not really in the mood to talk.

"Well, you said before that honoring the dead is an honorable tradition, but to make a whole festival out of it…"

"You don't think it's a good idea?"

"No, actually I kind of like it. It's not like they're happy because people are dead, but more, it is comforting to those left behind. It's a chance to remember the good things about their loved ones and use that as strength to keep going."

"Wow…" Gojyo whistled, leaning his arm on the boy's head. "I don't think I've ever heard you say something so profound before, little monkey. You surprise me!"

"Hey, lay off!" Goku said, brushing his arm away. "Don't call me a monkey!"

"And why not?" And just like that, a playful argument started up much like it did before all this drama started. Hakkai tried to step in and quell the fighting before Sanzo's fan would make an appearance—he did not succeed. Everything seemed like it was back to normal… the way it should be… That's what Koume thought as she stood back and watched in silence. They looked so happy somehow, even when they were fighting. The perfect group.

_A group that doesn't need you._

Those words stabbed her through the heart. She really didn't fit in with them… she didn't have a place amongst them… maybe she would be better off just leaving. If she turned around right then, would they notice she was gone? Would it even matter to them? Goku would probably miss her… he had such a kind heart that was big enough for anyone and everyone… _Anyone_… that's right, it didn't have to be her, specifically. Maybe she should just go… unconsciously, she took a step back and just then, Sanzo glanced back at her. The look on his face was… unusual: a mix of shock, confusion and something she just… couldn't understand.

"Oi. What are you doing back there? Come over here before you're left behind."

Left behind… she almost wanted to cry right then. That must have been obvious on her face as his expression instantly changed. Maybe he was finally starting to understand her tears from the night before and why she'd been acting so strangely. Yes… Koume knew it was coming. Sanzo stepped towards her, extending a hand.

"Kou-"

Just then, a loud scream ripped through the air and everyone whipped their heads to the right just as some of the townspeople started running. A building collapsed in the distance and within seconds, a band of about a dozen demons made their appearance, clawing their way through the flurry of people.

"Where the hell did these guys come from?!" Goku shouted, summoning his weapon, as did Gojyo.

"Dunno, but they're crashing the party before it's even started!"

"Then lets show them how we treat uninvited guests, shall we?" Sanzo drew his gun from his sleeve and Hakkai took a defensive stance next to him. As one of the demons was about to pounce on an innocent woman, Gojyo's blade swung at him, cutting him in two like he was made of paper. This sudden retaliation caused the other demons to stop and look their way.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own size, you lousy punks? I'm the only one allowed to chase after beautiful women."

"You… how dare you kill one of us!" Another demon shouted, baring his fangs. "Attack!"

Everyone had a job to do, everyone was working their hardest to keep the demons focused on them and away from the fleeing villagers… except for Koume, who merely stood still amongst the chaos. Bombs exploded around her, weapons flew past, but still she didn't move. Sanzo looked over as he reloaded his gun and saw her still form.

"Koume! What the hell are you doing? Move your ass!" She didn't move, not even as a knife flew through the air to lightly cut her cheek. The blood dripped down her face, but she made no move, no sound. She appeared to be distracted…

"Koume!" Sanzo's shouting got Gojyo's attention and he looked over at her.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Was it the baby? Was she feeling sick? He tried to make his way over to her. "Koume!"

"…I hear something…"

"What…?" Sanzo couldn't understand what she was saying. All his yelling wasn't getting through to her, but one voice did. Turning her head, Koume noticed a small child sitting nearby her. This child was covered in dirt and blood- but not her own- she was covered in the blood of her parents who were laying on the ground. She shook them as she sobbed, calling out for them, not understanding that they couldn't hear her. The sight was just painful to watch… She was alone…. Alone, just like… Koume didn't get a chance to finish her thought as she heard a demon screech above them. Looking up, she saw that this demon had two handheld bombs in his hand and his target was obvious: the child. She had to do something, had to save this child, even though she was alone in the world. Maybe it was her who wanted to be saved… Either way, Koume ran towards the child, grabbing her up in a swift move and tried to make a run for it.

"Not so fast!" The demon yelled, throwing his bombs in her direction. Sanzo saw the demon as well and popped off two shots to kill it before it hit the ground, but the noise made Koume stop running. She didn't realize that the bombs had been released until they exploded, sending her and the child in her arms flying through the air. The explosion burned her back painfully and she let out a yell as she hit the ground, rolling several feet before stopping. The others called out for her as she tried to sit back upright, forcing back a yelp of pain. Even if she'd been injured, she managed to save the girl…. Right? Looking down, however, she saw otherwise. The young child in her arms wasn't moving, wasn't breathing… and Koume's fingers were… covered in her blood. Had the explosion killed her, or… had she been holding on too tightly? Did she…

"Oh dear… it looks like you killed her." Koume's heart skipped a beat as her eyes slowly looked up to behold none other than Nii…. Why was he still there? Was she just imagining him standing there? Was he some phantom there to torment her… no… there was no denying his scent.

"Y-you…" Nii looked down at the pale, motionless child and shook his head, clicking his tongue.

"So sad… but what did you expect? A soulless doll can't possibly save anyone, you know." Sanzo and the others were running towards her before they were stopped by a line of demons separating them, but they weren't attacking. Sanzo growled, glaring at the man.

"Who the hell are you?!"

"That is need-to-know information, and frankly, you don't." Nii said with a grin.

"He's… the one in charge… of Gyumaoh's resurrection…" Koume choked out softly, her body trembling. Hakkai recalled what Kougaiji had told him. So this was the man who brought Koume back to life…

"But he's human… why does a human want to bring a demon to life?" Gojyo asked, confused.

"I'm a scientist, first and foremost, dear boy. Throughout history, scientists have challenged the natural order of this world to accomplish astonishing things. We have changed the world, and I will go down in history, succeeding where so many have failed! I will turn back the hands of time and bring the dead back to life!"

"Using black magic and technology… an unholy, forbidden art…"

" Ah ah ah…" Nii said, shaking a finger at Sanzo. "Be careful what you say monk. Your dear little doll here was given life through those "unholy" methods. She's a product of my hard work. A sinful little creature."

"Hey! Stop sayin such bad things about Koume!" Goku growled at the man. "I don't care if that guy's human or not, I'm going to kick his ass!"

"You'll have to wait in line, monkey, cause I intend to get to him first!" Gojyo responded, gripping his weapon tightly.

"Koume! Get up and get your ass over here right now! Get away from him!" Sanzo tried, but Koume didn't move. Her eyes were locked on Nii, her body trembling. Was it happening already? Was this the end?

She thought she'd have more time.

"What the hell do you want, old man?"

"Me? Why… I want the key to life."

"Excuse me?"

"I want to know the secrets of creating a life… in order to gain more knowledge to help me with my great work, and Koume can give it to me. I think… that's what you want, too…" his eyes fell onto Hakkai, who shivered at the attention suddenly being given to him.

"What… do you mean…?"

"It's my understanding that long ago, you lost someone dear to you. How sad you must be… what if I told you there was a way to get your long lost love back?" Hakkai's heart nearly stopped right there. His eyes widened, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. Kanan was gone… she was dead, and nothing could bring her back….right? He suddenly wasn't so sure. What if it were possible? His mind was racing, his chest tightening. Something didn't seem right, but this was Kanan they were talking about. If there was a chance to get her back…. Gojyo tried to yell at him, to tell him not to listen, but he was completely taken in by this mysterious man.

"The key to life is standing right before your eyes, but nothing in this world is free. Tell me… what would you be willing to give up in order to have your dearly beloved back?"

"Anything…. Everything…" He spoke without even thinking about it. If it were for Kanan, he wouldn't hesitate to give up his own life. But was that what he really wanted? Would Kanan be happy with a sacrifice like that?

"Hakkai!" Gojyo shouted again. "Hey, pull yourself together, man! You're talkin crazy!"

"…Is it crazy, Gojyo?" Koume finally spoke, slowly getting to her feet despite her painful burns, leaving the child's body at her feet. "Is it crazy to long for that which you've lost? To reach for something unattainable by normal means…?" Her head was down, voice low and melancholy, her bangs hanging over her eyes. "Maybe it is… but…if it's something within your reach… why not extend your hand to take it…?" Koume stepped closer to the man in the lab coat, putting more distance between her and Sanzo's group.

"Koume, get back here! What are you doing?" Sanzo shouted again.

"What I should have done sooner…" she answered, her voice barely above a whisper. She stopped in front of Nii, keeping her head down. He had the sickest look of satisfaction and it sent chills down Hakkai's spine.

"Koume… please just come here…" he tried calling to her, but she didn't move.

"Cho Hakkai… do you really want her back?" the twisted scientists asked.

"I-I do, but…"

"Very well. Then…" without hesitating, Koume held out her hand, accepting an item from the man. From his angle, Sanzo couldn't tell what the object was right away, until her hand fell to her side. That's when he saw it… a gun.

"K-Koume…" Gojyo paled. What was she planning to do with that?

"Koume, what the hell?!" Goku exclaimed in shock.

"Put that down right now! Drop it!" Sanzo shouted next, fear welling up inside him quickly. While the others were panicking, Hakkai was frozen in place. Somehow, he felt like he'd lived this all before.

"I can't. You see… I'm a creature that was never meant to exist… I never had a purpose, a reason to live… until now."

"Koume, don't…"

"I want to make you happy… all of you. That's all I care about, and the only thing I ever wanted for myself was… to be wanted; to have a family who cared about me. So I thank you for letting me experience that, even if only for a while… I knew I never really belonged here, though… eventually, I would have been thrown away anyway."

"That's not true, Koume…!" Goku said, tears forming in his eyes. "We love you… we don't want you to go anywhere! I don't want you to leave!"

"Thank you, Goku…" She said softly, voice full of sincerity. It was chilling…. "If you remember me... If I can make those I love happy, then my time here wasn't wasted." She slowly rose the gun, pressing the cold metal to her temple. "Hakkai… I'm sorry I remind you… I'm sorry I cause you pain. I never wanted to hurt you." Hakkai gasped. So she heard him the other night…! Now he was sure… making that deal with Kougaiji was a mistake and here he was, about to lose everything all over again!

"Koume! Forget all this bullshit, drop the gun and get your ass over here!"

"I'm sorry, love… but it's too late for me…"

No… not again… not those words, gentle and sad… and hopeless. Hakkai didn't want to hear it all over again, he didn't want to watch this scene play out right in front of him. He could hear the rain drumming in his ears, could feel the ache of the wound in his stomach… Not again… don't….

Koume wasn't going to stop, wasn't going to come to her senses! The hands had been dealt and there was only one card left that Gojyo could play. He saw her finger lightly squeeze the trigger so he knew he had to do it now. He took in a deep breath and shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Koume, you're going to kill your baby!" Everyone's eyes widened and jaws unhinged at the sudden yell and Koume hesitated… only for a moment before tears cascaded down her cheeks. She smiled sadly, regretfully, but she pulled the trigger anyway. The gun clicked and the bullet left the chamber; however, instead of a splash of blood, a bright light lit up as the bullet made contact with her skull. That blinding light poured from her head like blood and was absorbed into the bullet, which then dropped to the ground a few feet away. The light now gone, Koume's arm fell to her side, the gun dropping to the ground. She swayed a bit, barely standing, and then collapsed like a limp rag doll.

The group wasn't about to be held back any longer, and it took them only seconds to rip the demons in front of them apart. Sanzo rushed past the scene of death first and slid to a halt next to Koume. He carefully pulled her body into his arms and shook her.

"Koume! Koume, hey! Look at me!" Her body was heavy, cold, and her face was completely emotionless. Her eyes didn't open, her chest didn't rise or fall and not a single breath escaped past her lips, and yet there was not a drop of blood to be found. He shook her again, more forcefully this time, but still she didn't move. The others rushed over to her aid and Hakkai searched desperately for a wound to heal, only to find none. How was it possible…? How could it happen to the same person twice…? While they were concerned with her, Nii's only concern was the bullet which was dispensed, now letting off a soft glow. He knelt down to retrieve it seconds before three pairs of angry eyes were directed at him.

"Hey, asshat! What the hell just happened?!" Gojyo growled in pure rage.

"Fascinating, wasn't it?" Nii answered, smiling. "I designed this bullet myself… it's one of a kind, completely unique… it's purpose… is to extract a single soul."

"To extract…"

"You mean it pulled her soul out of her body…? But…"

"That means, simply, that the body in your arms is nothing but an empty shell now. Without a soul, even a fabricated one such as this, the body will simply die." Sanzo pointed his gun at the man, ready and willing to put a bullet in his skull.

"Give it back to us! We aren't going to just let you walk away with that!"

"Oh, but I can't give it back. You see, I want to study it, and use it for my next experiment." He looked away from the bullet to the lifeless body on Sanzo's lap. "I was going to let you keep that…. But I have to admit I'm curious… If she is really with child… hmmm.. what would happen…?" He made his decision and with a snap of his fingers, more demons appeared and the Sanzo party was quickly knocked aside, away from Koume's body. As they recovered themselves, they looked up to see a demon with wings carrying Koume's body away, and the doctor was on board a flying dragon like Kougaiji usually used.

"Thank you for your time, gentlemen." Nii said, waving to them. "I'll come back for your scripture another day… this is a fine enough reward for my efforts." He was going to get away, going to take away their only chances of saving Koume… and Hakkai couldn't stand by and watch this play out any longer. He yelled out loudly and ran at the flying dragon, jumping high up into the air to grab onto the dragon's tail.

"You're not going to take her away from me!" The doctor looked surprised for a moment, then a pleased grin stretched across his face.

"Would you look at that… a consolation prize. You'll be a fun toy to play with." The dragon flew even higher and Gojyo jumped up to his feet.

"Hakkai, you idiot! Just let go! Get your ass back down here!"

"I wont…! I can't leave her now!"

"How admirable…" His goal met, Nii gave the signal as the dragon and the flying demon flew away into the sunset, leaving what remained of the Sanzo party amongst a field of demon corpses.


End file.
